The victim and the villain
I used to be the victim.
The result of an unfair life
A chip on my shoulder that explained why I never went any further.
I used to self validate my hardships
Because no one else could possibly understand.
A strangers disinterest pulled me further into my reclusiveness.
I used to know that no one would ever know me.
That with all these friends of mine no one had ever met ...
Friday 17th March 2023 11:13 am
Goggles of the deep
Left alone with the demons that my vices taunt
Sometimes I lay wake at night waiting for them surfaces
When they don’t show up on time is when I get nervous
They must be planning something special for the girl with no life convincing herself she has purpose.
Stockhome to the burdens I was assigned
A long long time ago when my life wasn’t mine
Chained in my head begging t...
Wednesday 8th March 2023 10:23 am
The pros and cons of being satisfied
Loving you to a faults degree.
You’ll never know what loving you means to me.
A sacred bond we have somehow.
A bond I can’t break, a vow
Loyalty that knows no bounds.
A loyalty you could never know.
I’m loyal but the extent is what we’ll never speak about.
Simply put, loving you not’s simple
Loving you is not text book.
When people write of love they write so you ca...
Thursday 23rd February 2023 12:12 pm
The calm before the ocean
My heads above the water
I’m floating on the surface
I’m safe and the oceans still
Relieved but not naive.
The pause in temper is what’s saving me but calm is not how you describe the sea.
The calm before the storm is a saying for a reason.
For now I’m basking in the moment.
Maybe when it comes I won’t be with it
The only thing I know for sure is if i am this was worth ...
Friday 10th February 2023 12:22 pm
The difference between myself and me.
Living life or standing still
my vices are in the middle of what i’m doing and my potential
logically I am perfect
my actions yield the difference.
And in between wright from wrong
Lies the difference between myself and me
The recipe to disaster that complacency tends to weave
Knowing where you want to be is the torcher to those not driven
The future is birthed by the...
Friday 30th December 2022 12:52 pm
High tide
Sittin on the edge of where the ocean meets the sand
And it’s high tide
My legs are given in and my fingertips are spent
I’m close to letting go
In this high tide
Hold me in your arms in case I travel far
My legs are giving in and my fingertips are spent I thought I could hold on that the currents not as strong and now I’m almost gone in this high tide.
Please hold me i...
Friday 16th December 2022 2:46 pm
Contradictions
Trying to remember how to write
Not knowing what I feel anymore
Like a dog who forgets it’s past when he finds a new home
Still struggling with the side effects
But not knowing why
Forgetful and forgiving
Still not getting me by
Happy and afraid
Disappointed and ashamed
Relieved but not convinced
The fear that fear will take its place
Insecure yet safe
C...
Saturday 22nd May 2021 11:25 am
Anxiety
Anxiety
The anxiety it kills me
Never letting up
I’m happy in my life
More happy than I’ve been
I have everything you could ever want
And a wonderful partner that I love too much
I’m wise beyond my years
I’m healthy so to speak
I’m writing less because I’m happy now
And tragedy and sadness write and read the best
I have goals that I’m working towards
...Friday 26th February 2021 3:59 pm
Side Effects
Side effects
And what are the side effects of growing up so young
Being a child but the adult
in this house that’s not a home?
What are the side effects of the times you spent all wrong
Staying out
Drinking late
Then driving me home
What are the things apart of me
That you gave me when I was young and did what you needed to be done
Why is my head a mess
...Friday 26th February 2021 2:46 pm
What They Say
What they say
They say to discard the one that treats you wrong. The guy that uses you and beats you down. That first love you have when you haven’t learned the difference
Passion or resistance
The notebook story or something different.
That time when they begged you to leave because he everyone in the world but you knows that he’s not the one.
The guy that gaslights and t...
Friday 26th February 2021 2:45 pm
Don’t forget about the magic
And everyone in here take just a moment to hear this if only so I could reassure myself that I’m not the only one to feel this.
Grab your beers and pickle backs close your tabs and tilt your hats while I strum this melody that’s playing in your head.
I’d like to remember not to forget the days of magic
Where the kids that played with matches burned their youth to ashes.
Before we di...
Tuesday 8th October 2019 8:26 pm
Jeff
Tucked in the shadows of some apartment complex on Baymeadows that consumes itself with tonight in order to forget about their tomorrow’s. I of course are one of these blokes, that tends at the shit hole bar that serves all of these folks. Happy or content, I’m not sure I know I know the difference. See I was talking to Jeff at the bar who made me think about what I’m missing. Surely I was made fo...
Friday 13th September 2019 6:27 am
My love,
My love,
I’ve loved before, the foo’s past drew
But never quite this much
I’ve loved in desperation
With cries of passion and nights of anything but
I’ve loved blindly, those undeserving all while eyes wide shut
I’ve loved so hard and cried so long for loving those that watched me hurt.
Risked so much and hung on way too long
Because that’s what a...
Thursday 2nd May 2019 7:21 pm
Together
Hand in hand
Though only gripping yours
And your grip counting twice
The two of us holding on
And all the lonely bastards in between and behind
Together we revel in sadness
Reading in the lines
Through silent whispers that scream for lonely masters
Gripping tighter to your hand
The only thing worse than the darkness of lonely is feeling it alone
Togethe...
Thursday 25th April 2019 7:13 pm
After the boys of summer are gone
A letter to my ex
The one that meant the most
This isn’t a passive aggressive passage that showcases what you lost
I’m not here to “thank you” for all the shit you’ve done because it “taught me to be strong” no need to block the jabs you thought that I’d give out.
I’m here to say I love you. And I’m not bitter about the past.
Hard to believe I’m sure without fearing what comes ne...
Tuesday 9th April 2019 7:51 pm
Demons vs The Kid
Left alone with the demons that my vices taunt
Sometimes I lay wake at night waiting for them surfaces
When they don’t show up on time is when I get nervous
They must be planning something special for the girl with no life convincing herself she has purpose.
Stockhome to the burdens I was assigned
A long long time ago when my life wasn’t mine
Chained in my head begging to bre...
Friday 15th March 2019 9:23 am
Brother
And here it is I sit, alone again I’ll admit.
Pulled over before my stop
Trying to convince my thumbs to jot down
What my mouth couldn’t get
Solitude has struck me cold to many times for me count
The nights where I beg for someone in this place I’m in to know who I am without me helping them out
And deeming them too blind to figure me out.
So by myself I sit, with all the...
Friday 15th March 2019 9:20 am
Remember?
My heart it breaks
Never knowing what to say
Fearing that the day I do the moment that’s to late
I guess I need to explain.
See I’m like you, we feel just the same.
You call me to talk
But you’ll never listen
You must feel that I’m like the rest of them and anything I say to you is nothing but obligatory words I’d share with anyone if it wasn’t you.
Do you not remember...
Monday 11th March 2019 6:14 pm
You’re welcome
Forever sad
Drowning in a life that wasn’t supposed to be this bad
Dreaming of dream where these trials seem worth it
A morning painted in gold the day that my entire life becomes a memory that I’ve told
Knowing the distance quickly drifts away further from the time I convinced myself to stay
Coddling my fears of never getting out
Remembering the days I counted the years till I...
Saturday 9th March 2019 11:28 am
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