Hi John - thanks for the good wishes re my hip op. Still sore and I can't sleep - can't get comfortable :( xx

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Hi John :o) You raise an interesting point re the 'it' in the first two stanzas. The placement and inclusion of 'it' is to impress the reader of the stress of the lines and by its use causes the line to flow more rhythmically. I appreciate you raising the point.
Tommy

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Hi John, Glad you liked the website, It's only been around for about 10 months ;-) Win X

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Thankyou John, I'm enjoying reading your poems. x

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Thanks for commenting John - nice to see you back.

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Woof woof!

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Saw your name crop up and just wanted to say - welcome back.

Regards,
A.E.

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Thanks for your comments on Interview

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'Love starts with a smile
and becomes a wildflower
tucked behind your ear.'

Yes John. I am always watching! (If through a sometimes sleepy eye)

nice.

Win x

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That's hilarious....so hilarious I'm currently snorting uncontrollably...I hadn't slept in 2 days, so, exhausted, I decided to write about it, as I was musing and contemplating the difficulty of trying to use my brain must have roused that long awaited state. :-@

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Thanks for agreeing with me John.
My what big ears you've got.

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I john. Thanks for the link, a great rendition from Gary on this one. I remember buying the vinyl when it came out! Hats off to you too for spreading his music. You can see a live performance of the track which features in the title of my poem here. v. emotional. Win

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O_YMLDvvnw

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John the Hat is currently on remand (again) in Armley. No-one's sure why.
I just drafted today The Continuing Story of John the Hat.

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I think 'PHWOARR' sums up my feelings on home-grown, roasted tomatoes. Roasted with garlic..in its skin...mmmMMMM :D

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BTW - I think you are right about not being too precious. I have had some of the best feedback for poems which I thought barely worthwhile posting... and yet, when I re-read them I could see what it was that others had liked. B

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just at the moment there seems to be quite a few good poems on WOL but I really loved yours - first rate. B

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No, I've not kept up with the discussions tbh...they're usually so slow moving I only check in once a week, if that.

Anyway, loved bums and peas :D

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Dear King of Cliches... please blog you love poem. LOL Win x

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thanks man i missed that

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Thanks for your feedback John on "Writer's Block"
The poem isn't really about that unwanted phenomenon but rather a wounded and sore heart and therefore the fear of further pain becomes a block to future pleasure ;)

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Many thanks, J, for your comments on Wrong Road Roun'. Much appreciated.

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Thanks for your kind comments on my prostitute poem and indeed for the inspiration you provided for it, mucho appreciated.

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Scallywag! Cliches have their part to play...just not strung together and presented as a 'poem'.

I often use cliches...the moon is a good example, how tired is that?

But...if you can 'make it new' then, fabuloso.

I'll never eat pit pony again without thinking of you!

:-)

jx

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I know it's a cliche but thanks for your comment on my poem 'Pit Pony'.

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(aspirations) I think that bras are made to make all men look like utter pricks at that most vital moment - not that we need any help.
Ah - the delightful Catherine D!
I remember reading of some famous actor who said his idea of heaven would be Miss Deneuve dipped in chocolate -(looked on google - can't find it) - but I did find a reference to Melanie Sykes dipped in chocolate - I'm getting all trembly just thinking about it :D

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Hi - "Donkey Jacket" by Ray.
Yes, I see what you mean... it does also work without the "out".But you know me & cliches - Oi loves me a good cliche - also maudlin stuff, corny stuff, schmaltzy stuff, connectives, split infinitives etc. Seriously - and it's only my view - I'd rather not avoid even a well-worn cliche if it IS the way folks speak... in other words (for me) the avoidance of any phrase, even a cliche, if that is what Would be said (by most), is of itself, a conceit - but ONLY in the type of poem I'm talking of (demotic stuff). If I'm trying to do something a bit more heartfelt or sincere ("real" poetry, I guess), then I agree fully and avoid them cliches like the plague :D But this was only a throwing-down-the-gaunlet by Ray, took me all of a minute, and isn't a very good or well-thought-out poem anyway - just a bit of a laugh.

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ive reported you to the admin team. Who the hell do you think you are to tell strangers their work is bad!!??? who the F*** do you think you are??you are clearly a very insecure person who justs wants to feel better about yourself. You vile nasty person. do your self a favour and get your self something constructive to do

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if you leave another nasty message i will report you. get a life!!!

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who are you to leave such a vile comment on my blogs??? poetry has no right or wrong. i just write from my heart!!! if you happen to rea my comedy poetry you will find a flip side to my style.. but clearly you think you are too good so i advise you just stick to your own work instead of insulting other talents

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John - I didn't know you'd said anything untoward tbh... I never saw any such comment - thanx anyway mate

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Hello John

As promised I have re read your poetry postings and find them all delightful… why indeed would I not.

Under the Wire - is my most favourite, in a class of its own..

‘Lost’ Ghazal - Once again superb in it crafted simplicity…. I’m not a great fan of this style of poetry, something missing I feel ?

Liken to fine china that clunks rather than pinging..

As to the slightly more erotic, the pretty ‘Triolet’ is, I think very well crafted and observed, however I would have been unhappy including the words ‘alleviate’ and ‘stress’, in my humble opinion I find them angular and jarring in a poem which outlines a ritual so secret and special.. I would, had it been my poem, chosen to replace it with a new line altogether utilising the word ‘press ‘or ‘less’

Sometimes (Extended Rhyming Mix) - is my favourite in this genre wonderful lovely echoing imagery, beautiful mood paintings within all of the lines.

I also have a feeling that you yearn to write more erotica but are perhaps self limiting by your intellectual inhibitions , what I mean is, that you perhaps try to completely smother the sometimes absurd, gaudy, and gratuitous nature of the subject by overworking cleverly constructed subtleties. Instead of be as intellectually timorous perhaps, dare I say, a more hands on approach…

…boom boom

Enjoy being ribald and risqué.

I have enjoyed my jaunt through your recent poetry postings, thank the Lord you are not as prolific as one or two on this site.

Many thanks and well done all of your work is superb.

Augusta xx

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Part of the firmament - you are a lovely - you can be the moon controlling all the tides...

What I was trying to say was that I don't really need catharsis any more. I've dealt with my past and put it behind me. That poem got written because I read two other poems on here - one that upset me and one that made me think. Would agree that poetry has lifted me, given me something other than drudgery to look forward to, stimulated the brain, introduced me to lots of fascinating people - and I'm not too bad at it on a good day - so it's made me proud of myself - which is very, very important. It hasn't done much to help keep my house clean though :(xx

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Thanks John for combing my work and then brushing up on the puns!

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Hi John, thanks for your kind remarks on Ghazal (In snow). Also, maybe you are even right lol! Win x

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Thanks John for your comments. I think the reason I like attempting ghazals is to be able to use a phrase that I like, over and over again! And smoke and mirrors is a nice phrase, I agree! xx

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Thank you John for your oh so kind remarks and for reminiscing over our previous comings together… how sweet.


I will read your poetry with great interest and in particular I will relish the opportunity to critique those that lend themselves to the ‘erotic’ .


It was so nice to hear from you too.


Many thanks once again.

Augusta xx

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Hey! Happy New Year etc - "But, did you ever find your tongue/Jammed halfway up your sister's bum?" - I wish you'd post this poem! Your comments are as good as lots of the poems on here!

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Hi John - was very flattered by your kind comments on The Hard Seat and will wait to see if there are any other valid comments before tinkering with it but I have already earmarked one or two of your suggestions for improvement - very much obliged

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"Liqueurs, madam" - thanks, yes, that was the general sentiment I had in mind "Oooh, you are awful......"

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Happy New Year you old dog. Will you be learning any new tricks this year, jumping through any new hoops? Is your New Year's resolution to stop writing erotic poetry or is that still the Holy Grail?
Big hugs and kisses. xx

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Hi there, Glad you liked my last blog, Ghazal (There). Notice I have used the word 'I' as a takkhalus this time as we chatted about recently. Win x

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Re Ghazal (branches). John, I don't find your comments 'nit picky'. 1) You have spotted a missing apostrophie and 2) The line 'filing down the wind's teeth' and 'branches' raises an important point when writting ghazals in english. The poem is a compromise between, on the one hand maintaining the criteria and on the other creating a poetic voice worth hearing. In the first sher (As Philipos pointed out the voice was compromised as boughs would have been more harmonious) and yes in the 3rd sher also. To try and get round this to some degree other poets have inserted a lot of punctuation. Maybe a dash would improve the reading, some english ghazals are almost overwhelmed with punctuation IMHO,
Cheers john

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Hi John,

Thanks for the comment on my Infinity Station Poem...

I think you are right about the use of the word Phallic, that verse might need a bit of work I think coz the 'joke' of it doesn't quite work at the moment.

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Hi John Good to make your acquaintance and glad you like the poem.

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Now then John - I reckon miserabilism is a word, yeh. If it sounds right, it is right, imo. ;)

I like the boozing and the days of lying on the couch watching shite on the telly. Not James Bond films though, hate them. I quite like fairy lights too. The rest of it can get stuffed.

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Re Triolets - I hear that they are very like Pantoums! I liked yours but as a form I find them a bit irritating. ;-)

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Glad you like it John. Thought it was time I gave WOL a fully focussed frontal - shimmer and all... x

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Hi John,
thanks for your kind comment,
very much appreciated :)
peace!
Rachael x

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Hi John, thanks for your recent comments on Ghazal (your letters), I hope I am getting somewhere as I have been researching these things for nearly 3 years now on and off, Maybe its time I tried a triolet. Win X

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Hi John,

An answer re Criteria 6)

The ghazal is suposed to be spoken (or sung)personaly and from the heart, hence the inclusion of the signature or takkhalus.

Traditionally most poets have used either their real name or equally common a pen name as in the cleaver maqta of Ann -

In burning brackengold the fox lies sleeping
My man is dead, all men are as snow for me.

So you can choose what you like and remain anonymous if you wish and as euphonious as you wish.

Other ideas - Poets, more recently have used the meaning of their name. Or as you say made a reference using 'I' or 'me' however since ghazals are often writen in the first person this is somewhat weak. I have used other alternatives, e.g.

Barefoot steps linger
in the wet sand, soft.

where the footsteps suggest a signature. Overall however the name or pen name is prefered.

As to Troilets, I think this reply is sanitorial enough.

Win x

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