Yes Mae, I definitely saw this as a musical piece, wild, orchestrated violence and melodic soothing.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Fascinating! The idea of those two hands belonging to a conductor, an actual man a maestro, master of the universe conducting a celestial and earthly orchestra, harnessing the forces of nature; turning thunder to percussions and silence to violins...music is as haunting, as exquisite and as wild as creation! And a conductor is pretty much God holding all that in his hands! Excellent! ?
Mae

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Yo Jason - Yes an angry god indeed, sort of petulant, tantrumic like those of the the greek pantheon. God's anger by contrast is fierce but completely controlled, purposeful, and just. His mercy is never spent.
But a great poem if you're into greek gods. ?
Go well
><>

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Thanks Don, I think that's why, for me, they seem to take a while to think out but not too long to write. I usually have the idea for quite a long time before it goes anywhere near paper. It's usually only once I get rhythm in my head that I can start writing.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

I'm glad I didn't take my own advice here - don't even think of entering long poems.

A lot of comments suggested further exploration. I'm glad I did.

To me, a lot of work would seem to have gone into this powerful piece. To perfect the rhyme scheme in itself would have been a challenge.

A credit to you Jason. And no, I didn't even yawn......

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Oh I really like that fish, really like it. Who wrote it? Yes I'd have to say I didn't set out for biblical exactly but I did aim for an angry God, I hope that came across?

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Jason - certainly dramatic and well crafted but in no way biblical.

Many rail against God,
Though of course He's not there
And if He was
They still wouldn't care.
Some with an aside
Deny that He died
But most of the sea,
With a heave and a moan,
Just wish that He'd go
And leave them alone.

Go well
><>

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Wow, thanks Devon. I don't know what to say except just, thanks.
I saw it as kind of a conductor, but just one who was so pissed off with his orchestra that he decides to conduct them on their last frantic symphony, one that is so difficult and loud and crazed that in making them play it he knows it will destroy them all. Glad you liked it and thank you so much.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Jason,

This is a fantastic piece. I was immediately struck and awed by the image of one hand on the sea and one in the sky. Approaching this image from a biblical or cultural sense, you have opposing forces joining together to destroy duality returning the earth to a point of unpeopled purification - shorn of free will and doubt. That you consistently utilized that image throughout the poem provides the poem another level of meaning, which I think is the hallmark of great poetry.

D

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Thank you Jennifer, much appreciated, and those were some of my favourite lines too.
And thank you Lisa for liking.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Wow! Terrifying - agree about the rhyme scheme - especially liked 'let your tongue taste the bitterness of lies - all mercy is spent - and the last verse. Definitely has a biblical sound or perhaps Mother Nature? It is a really powerful image and would be amply deserved!

Jennifer

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Thanks Dorothy, Ruth, Adam and Heart. I've had this image in my head for some time now and it's taken a while to form into words but it's nice that it has because now I can stop thinking about it.?

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Your poems are powerfully crafted and always a journey to somewhere epic. Thanks for sharing.

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Original item by Jason Bayliss

An epic almost Biblically poetic description of climate change enjoyed the dramatic image you directed with your words. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

Thanks Kate, it's reassuring to know that some of the image that was in my head successfully transferred to paper.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

I read this a few times Jason. Very powerful.

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss

I don't personally have faith, but in my mind's eye I could see a raging God tearing out the pages of the story he'd written and dashing them into the bin. I don't believe that will happen, it just seemed a really powerful image. I hope I've done it justice.

J. x

Comment is about The Deity Screams (blog)

Original item by Jason Bayliss