Same as Andy I like how it breaks down at the end. The first 2 lines of 2nd verse speak to me - grew up in a house that had ice on the inside of the windows in winter.

Strong, and haunting...quite scary too in places...those dolls eyes...

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Original item by Marianne Daniels

this is almost as good for me, Marianne as the piece i have just commented on...

lot of excellent stuff here, but i like the way the sentence structure breaks down at the end of the poem...

top notch stuff again x

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Original item by Marianne Daniels

This is haunting. Every time I think you could do no better, somehow you do, with new relations between ideas and diction that are entrancing. The second stanza is amazing, but hardly more so than the entire poem. Love 'I stood with the cold...that would follow me', almost a poem in itself.

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Original item by Marianne Daniels

I liked this a lot. These lines are top stuff:
a playground painted like a paramedic’s jacket,


I stood with the cold that wouldn’t stay still, that would follow me,

Don't know that you need "to be" before November or the bar of soap line but the rest was great.

Comment is about I cannot write. (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

certainly a fair few interesting lines in this and i like november coloured i think perhaps it would have more impact with the subsequent damp grey though ?

i just wish i had been more careful yesterday though because now i feel like a whore...

Comment is about I cannot write. (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels