Hello again Cynthia
I suppose most of my poems are 'worked on' to some extent.
I write almost everything sat at my computer, generally arriving at a draft fairly quickly. I then let it sit, and generally keep returning to the computer over the next 24 hours and perhaps change the odd word or two, but the bulk of it remains. Fine tuning may be the best phrase, if that doesn't sound too up-myself.
Thanks for the message
x Steve x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Ann,
thanks for commenting with your thoughts on Snow People poems.
It's the kind of comment i was hoping for.
The first is my first draft and as it came out on paper. The second is when i started messing around with it. I'm hopeless at editing and often do too little or too much.

Janet.x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

In the preview section on this site, the poem shows in a different format than what is actually published. I shortened 'your' to 'ur' so that the sentence fitted on the correct line. That said, I bet e.e. cummings (no caps needed) would probably be well into text spk, not to mention ur instead of your. So I'm allowed too! As regards whether this poem would work more as a blog, I disagree - my style of verse is often conversational and short on the usual poetic gestures. It's just how I tend to write. I suppose the more laboured ones will come across more immediately as 'poetic.' Many thanks for your comments. I will check out your work soon.

Comment is about John Turner (poet profile)

Original item by John Turner

Hi John. I didn't notice any cliches in Left Over. Maybe this poemwould make a good blogg? Somehow it seemed hard to comment on the one you chose as it seemed more of a statement. Is "ur vicious" etc right or should it be "your"? Anyway, good poem I thought. And welcome too.

Comment is about John Turner (poet profile)

Original item by John Turner

Thanks Janet!

Comment is about Paul Conneally (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Conneally

Hi Ann
Thanks for ever welcome comment. I've added an explanation comment, so those who read know exactly where I was coming from
xx Steve xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

really?...nah no way, your boiling my sprouts as we say in Liverpool!

Comment is about jean lucy thompson (poet profile)

Original item by jean lucy thompson

Hya Rache - my grandma used to call me Fanny Fanackapan when I was little and being awkward! I want to be a hedge witch, got books about it and everything! When I wrote this poem it had a cheerful ending, "my love still has its fingers crossed" or some such rubbish, but then I woke up one morning with the miserable ending, which is better.

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hey. I'm not quite sure of the cliches you're speaking of but I will take another look. I composed the poem in about ten minutes and so perfection wasn't expected. I'll give it a re-edit at some point. Thanks for your comments.

Comment is about John Turner (poet profile)

Original item by John Turner

Hello Andreas. Welcome to WOL. Be good to see some of your work on here.

Comment is about Andreas Grant (poet profile)

Original item by Andreas Grant

Welcome to WOL Ant. You sound very accomplished. Enjoyed the pace of Far Too Many.

Comment is about Ant Smith (poet profile)

Original item by Ant Smith

Hello John. WOL can't find friends for you but you'll certainly get some honest comments about the work you post up. There are some great lines in Left Over. Drop a few of the cliches and concentrate on your own strong words. Oh and welcome of course.

Comment is about John Turner (poet profile)

Original item by John Turner

REVELATION 2
I am very bad at 'getting' other people's obscurity (love my own of course) but I found some really nice linguistic touches. I gather you do your own translation, so the question arises: "How much is lost in?" (:o)

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

Merci beaucoup Gus pour tes commentaires sur mon poème
'Bound together'...
Je suis toujours ravie quand ce que j'écris te plais : )

xxx

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Je t'adore Isobel !
Merci beaucoup pour tes commentaires sur mon poème 'Bound together'...
Tu me touches toujours avec ta générosité...
Et tu me fais constamment rire - qu'est-ce qu'on va s'amuser quand je viens visiter : )

xxx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks Rachel! V kind of you. I quite often have men laughing... but usually that's when Ive taken off my clothes... ;)

Comment is about Mab Jones (poet profile)

Original item by Mab Jones

I am listening:))

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

Yes Natasha : )

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

About bolsheviks??

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

About Bolsheviks??

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi Cynthia
Thanks for the comment.
I know it sounds naive, but I'm not sure what 'worked on' means. Put before a workshop? I wouldn't go near one. I'm not blase, it's just that a poem wouldn't be mine afterwards.
The poem came to mind after the Copenhagen conference on climate change, and a comment by a scientist that we are only 2 degrees away from an irreversible change in our climate.
xx Steve xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

'Lets have a debate!'

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

"Rude logic measures the steel, the wind, the wand" love that.

thanks for your encouragement and continued comment, I read your profil and would love to chat apres poetry event! Never enough time to talk at these gigs!

Pete x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I have heard you reading a few times and really enjoy. Russian sounds beautiful and I think that it is a passionate language in the way it sounds. I studied Russian cold war politics and would love to travel there.

"And even shattered schick of shelter ..I’m
Half blooded card of subdivided suit!"

love the 'shattered shick' idea.
Would like to see more readings from you sometime.

Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)

Original item by Natasha

Looking forward and looking back. The Janus thing is always tinged bittersweet. Welcome to WOL Carmine.

Comment is about Carmine Grimshaw (poet profile)

Original item by Carmine Grimshaw

I'm also working with an exceptional artist, Ken McCalla and have developed a children's picture book;
"Vircheu and the Bow".
Now available at Foyles, New Beacon Bookshop, www.enkbooks.co.uk, Amazon and your local bookshop.

Comment is about Eli Anderson (poet profile)

Original item by Eli Anderson

Hi Cynthia. thanks for reading 'Browns Convention'. the poem has been edited and I have added some commentary on the blog. Win :-)

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Cate,
thanks for commenting on my poem about Miles Platting. I like 'gritty' and Northern, although we could do with some real grit around here lately eh!

Janet.x

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Hi Isobel, thanks for commenting on my poem about Miles Platting.
I enjoy personifying places and birds/animals too.
It's a while since i wrote one.

Janet.x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Paul,
just want to say i've read your Bach Remedy haiku. Every one of them and i love them. Great simplistic photographic images also. I'm pleased you didn't use the traditional form 5-7-5 for these. They're wild flowers and need to be free.

Janet.x

Comment is about Paul Conneally (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Conneally

Hi Ann,
yes i agree with you on your audio.You achieved your aim. Well done.

Janet.x

ps thanks for your comment on my poem about Miles Platting. I have done a few similar ones a while ago. I enjoy personifying places and sometimes animals/birds too.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Saw old Edgar many times from mid 60s onward! Out Demons Out! Ironically I've never seen the Exorcist.
Here's a link to a great version of Out Demons Out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce-v2EyG52Y

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ann. your wishes have been answered re our recent conversation about the text editor... (And incidentally mine too). Win

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Barring a thing that stops me, I will be going to the Tudor, and will do that poem there. Must say I'm rather touched by all these requests I've been getting from people lately.

At other times, they request me to do bad things, and when I open my eyes they're not there. Strange that.

Comment is about Dermot Glennon (poet profile)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

That would be greatly appreciated if you could

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

We are on same wavelenght with your idea '0 unread' , i had similar feeling/sentiment i wanted to capture. Do you want to write one and we can splice the 2 together? A project? ..I have not YET seen ajoint or HYBRID poem in here so we may be the first? Send it to Dermot for his magazine section

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

"It's steam trains, plugs and sockets they admire,
a trip to Wickes will really light their fire.
In boiler suites and steel toe caps they go,
a pencil stuck behind the ear - they charm me so!
Arms up to elbows in old oil and grease,
Swarfega like a perfume to their nose.
How I love men like those!"

Swarfega Stuff Poet Foxglove!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

..thanks for th'comment...no it's not bitter...just summing-up life a bit....I like your 'dance' poem...if you google 'stepmoth' and go to my 'myspace' you can select 'Easy when y'dancin' and hear me singin' on said subject....doesn't mean I can dance though..!!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I shan't delete it. yep I was after honest feedback and nope I'm not in the least offended. I have a thing for Stephen Fry (pointless I know) and Dara O'Brien too....you should see me watching Mock the Week and QI.
As for writing lots, I have a one track mind at the mo and it's to the detriment of everything else...Bills....ironing...pah!... there's a poem to be written. Actually I go through phases, seems to be a prolific phase at the moment, maybe it's hormonal!
Rachel
x

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Glad I haven't offended - you seemed to be asking for honest feedback and critique. Yes, you are right about the first few lines being the ones missing rythm and it gets better thereafter. I seem to naturally prefer a structure where the lines are not all the same number of syllables. I don't consciously sit down and work them out though - I just read it to myself until it sounds right. I have got this book Stephen Fry wrote called 'The Ode less Travelled' which tells you all the different rhyming schemes. I keep meaning to read it - it seems good or perhaps I should invent my own and write to him with it. LOL. From a page perspective, your poem is great - beautiful. I always tend to see things from performance cos that is my first love. Wish I could write as much as you - I have become a bit lazy - I read a lot more than I write. Should put this in an email, rather than clog your profile - feel free to delete once read. x
ps Atonement is a dead miserable book with an aggravating ending - have you seen the film?

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hiya Tommy, thanks for tellign me about Atonement, I googled it tooactyually, must get a copy of the book.
Cheers
Rachel
x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks John, what a lovely thing to say. I'm glad you liked the poem, I'm trying outsome new techniques at the mo, they don't always work so well and it's great to get feedback.
This is a bit of a hijack by the way but in response to Chris's comment below this, about liking things that make you cry.... I do that exact thing with Elgar's cello Concerto and Paul Gallico's book "the Snow Goose"

Thanks muchly
Rachel
x

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Oh, it's merely the cooking whisky! all gone now too, there was only one measure left, might have to sup the sherry next! then the listerine! No purple teeth for me tonight then!
Nope I did think that about the flow of it to start with....honest!
rach
xxx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

I bet you aren't that much older than me.... anyway, maybe you just had more discerning televisual tastes...I might try and find it on youtube unless they've burnt all the footage....they ought to have!
Rach
x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hullo Isobel,
I totally agree about the rhyme thing. I am messing around with styles and stuff at the mo and I'm not really comfortable with rhyming. it feels like I'm trying too hard and having to leave out stuff I want to put in but just can't tesselate. Practice at the jigsaw table for me I think. Lol!

Thanks again for the comment...also I am pretty sure the first few lines just don't work rhythm wise ...I will mess some more with it at some point.
cheers
rachel;
x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Rach - I don't recall the prog of which you speak, I think I'm millions of years older than you. I was struck by this new thing where you seem to have to have two newsreaders, always a man and a woman, to let you down gently when they tell you the news, on local stations anyway. And they always seem to have to flirt with each other. Gets right up my nose - so false!

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Aw. ta fer the comments chick!I have been reduced to drinking , though in my case the dregs....crap whisky, one measly measure left too. Send me some champagne down the modem!
I love you too

Racheroo
xxx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks for your kind comments on my Warm me Twice poem, it means a lot. x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Never realised you were so musical Gus. Yes, I could well imagine you on the horn...xx

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi Anneliese, I love yer limerick, very witty!

Comment is about Anneliese Emmans Dean (poet profile)

Original item by Anneliese Emmans Dean