A Love Poem
Although I'm not an acrobat it's absolutely true,
I did a double somersault the day that I met you;
It wasn't cause you're beautiful, although of course you are,
It's cause your bloody husband ran me over in his car.
Comments
I see you and agree.
Rhythm (scan)'s essential
To make a rhyme top-notch
Just one word out of place and
You'll end up with a hotch -
- Potch
(Thalia says I'm improving but what's a potch?....they don't have them on Mt Olymp)
?
I could change the third line to "It's not because you're beautiful..."
but if I change the fourth line the rhythm won't work.
'because you're beautiful because you're bloody'. I agree MC. EAP would be pleased MC......
Enjoyed both the humour and the use of rhyme. Thanks.
One caveat: I would have used the full word "because" - essentially
for the following reasons: it pleasingly precedes the words "beautiful" and "bloody" (alliteration) and fits in terms of rhythm when recited.
?
MC
Now Bran of course you realize
It's you who which are faulted
I really hope (insurance sake)
No car damage assaulted
?
Short but sweet,
Hope you landed on your feet.
<Deleted User> (18980)
Wed 23rd Oct 2019 17:55
Good one Branners
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
M.C. Newberry
Fri 25th Oct 2019 09:11
Hi BK - I guess it comes down to how you hear it in your head.
But the songwriter in me can sing the words and they work for me in rhythm..
Cheers
MC