Festival toilets

The weather is great

And the music is good

But I realy truly wish that I could

Hold it all in

But I need to pee

But those festival toilets are not for me

Because they smell so bad

And they look so grim

I feel like I'm going out on a limb.

It's too late I've breathed it in

The potty is filled up to the brim

Look at it it's overflowing

Maybe I should just get going

But my need to wee is oh so bad

So I must take it on the chin

Maybe if I hadn't drank so much beer

Outside I hear the crowd all cheer

Where am I meant to wash my hands

I'm missing all my favourite bands

No toilet paper and the flush won't work

I'm standing here like a berk

The smell is making me feel sick

I must get out of here quick

Outside I know a queue is forming

This is realy so alarming

The next one in will think it's me

That left the smell so I must flee

Open the door breath in fresh air

Look at the queue that's forming there

Some bloke steps in as I step out

'Bloody hell I hear him shout

I feel so glad that I am done

Put my head down quick and run

◄ Ordering drinks in a night club


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Don Matthews

Wed 18th Sep 2019 10:57

Lisa B I do believe
The 'ievals were particular
Where they did their this and thats
While seated perpendicular

Hence the spotless loos....😎

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Lisa C Bassignani

Wed 18th Sep 2019 10:39

I was recently at the medieval fair and the toilets were surprisingly very clean. What a relief...!

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Don Matthews

Wed 18th Sep 2019 08:22

Porta-potties I do love
When piss need to emit
Another urge, oh bugger me
I run for pottie-shit

Oh shit this porta smells like shit
(Cos that's its purpose see?)
This ditty I have gotta stop
I gotta run for pee

Shit! queue's a mile long.....😎

<Deleted User> (18980)

Wed 18th Sep 2019 07:11

Why don't the beer pumps feed directly to the loos and cut out the middle man?

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Candice Reineke

Tue 17th Sep 2019 18:41

Got a laugh from me on this one, Andrew! I think we all can relate to the dreaded "porta-potties" as we call them in the states.

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