Heat lightning flicker flashed
paparazzi in fog drop draped dark
flash bulbs pop thunder
distant and static then
Morning rain rhythms
metal merengue
roof rumba
Rain is silent as it falls
until
pooling puddle gulp
leaf drip plip
splish splash splosh
at the end of its drop
We wait unknowing
the sound we'll make
after our descent
it's echo lasting
long as we are missed
long as we are mist
Thank you all for reading. Don, you have probably only read the first half of most of my poems then...they get better in the second half...Ruth, the Pacific Northwest is indeed a rainy clime though lacking the tremendous spectacle of afternoon thunderstorm of my youth in Philadelphia. Kate, I will probably do an audio later but since I describe my voice as Bob Dylan after sucking helium it might not be as sonorous as I hope the poem sounds when read in people's minds with their nicest narrator.
Love this line 'metal merengue
roof rumba ' and the idea that when we are no longer here we become Mist! It rains quite a bit where I'm from is it the sane where you are?
<Deleted User> (22444)
Sun 25th Aug 2019 08:45
I feel like this one would-be wonderful read aloud Adam. Definitely evocative.
Interesting wordplay going on here Adam. I've always worked on the idea that the art of poetry (to me) involves using the rules of poetry to condense what you want to say into as few words as possible. It's not an easy skill. Maybe that's why I like good haiku.
Keep it short and I'll stay with you. Make it too long and I give up halfway.
I had a number of ideas I wanted to explore when I started to write it. Not sure many ended up in this draft. A weakness of my work is I don't tend to edit down much...but on this I just kept cutting and cutting...stanzas lines and words...hope what is left is at least evocative if not as fully garnished as is my wont.
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Mae Foreman
Mon 26th Aug 2019 16:23
Dear Adam, you are a natural! I too have many a time fallen victim of the editing monster, however I like what I read! Kudos?
Mae