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ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION

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So like I was telling you, I’ve always considered myself as something of a MOTW but recent events have shown that even I can always find something new to learn.

Take Ben.  He’s just started working on a cow farm and he was telling us about how the cows were inseminated. 

“By the bull” I hear you say; and, strictly speaking, you’d be right.  But not normally by the farmer’s bull.

See, he buys sperm in.

“Why?” you’re thinking.  Well, because ‘home’ seed results in insularity and, ultimately, weakened stock.  You see this in Norfolk.

Conversely, he sells his own bull’s sperm to other farmers.

“So how does he collect the sperm?” You’re wondering.

“By hand?” asks Our Gert optimistically, sensing a new career opportunity.

Well, Yes and No is the answer.  Certainly he doesn’t require the services of the Knottingley Jerky Girls; rather a vet does it and not by bovine masturbation but sticking his arm up its arse and tickling its prostate.

Well I’m blowed!  All these years wasted in unnecessary foreplay when a chap could obviate all that nonsense and simply have his walnut rubbed.

◄ TRIG'S BROOM

THE DYSON AIRBLADE ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sun 25th Aug 2019 08:09

Interesting thought, Kate. And I wonder who gets the greater pleasure, the bull or the vet?
The stuff of myth and fantasy, Jason. (Unless you do it yourself).
MOTW, Don?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWOtL-PZiE

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Jason Bayliss

Sat 24th Aug 2019 23:32

Ah the old, "walnut manoeuvre," I've only heard of it in legend!

J. ?

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Don Matthews

Sat 24th Aug 2019 23:27

Well damn! blow me down
You've flummoxed me John
MOTW wot's this mean?
Explain to this Don

Maybe it's cause
Norfolk I don't live
Ignoramus I now am
Please explain, please do give

Artfully inseminate me with this knowledge please John....?

<Deleted User> (22444)

Sat 24th Aug 2019 22:52

Hilarious John, but no doubt much less fun for the poor bull.

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