His name was Sam

But he was always known as Samsez

He spoke of himsen in the third person

If Sam was gunna do summet,

He wun’t say “I’m gunna do summet”

He’d say “Sam’s gunna do summet”

Annoying or what?

That’s just the half of it

He began each sentence with the word Samsez

So it’d go

“Samsez… Sam’s gunna do summet”

His sad tales took on extra melancholy

When delivered in his own unique way of speaking

“Samsez… Sam’s skint”

“Samsez…. Somene’s nicked Sam’s wallet”

“Samsez…. Sam’s son Dave’s been in Sam’s room”

“Samsez…. Sam thinks it was him”


We confronted Dave to see what he had to say for himsen

He replied in his own unique way


“Davesez…. Dave din’t do it”


The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree



◄ The Man Who Thinks Too Much

A Bag Of Spuds And A Swede (part 1) ►


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Jason Bayliss

Thu 22nd Aug 2019 16:28

It's funny, there's such a compelling insight in these characters for me because I grew up around many like them. I wish I could write like this, it's a really genuine snapshot of my memories of all those people I knew. Hope that makes sense?

J. x

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kJ Walker

Mon 19th Aug 2019 07:22

Thanks Brian and M.C. these characters were friends of my dad's who I remember from when I was a kid. After a while of listening to them you get used to how they talk, and stop noticing it.

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 18th Aug 2019 16:09

A curious insight into how some see and speak for themselves.
What with Maggie Thatcher's "We are a grandmother" and the
style used by the character Gollum in the LOTR adventures, there
are other samples to be found in reality as well as fiction.

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Brian Maryon

Sun 18th Aug 2019 14:14

Great Kage. I expect we've all known, or know, someone with a unique way of talking. Good stuff!

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