The summer’s here, and kids are home all day,

oh deepest joy! What am I gonna do?

They’ve got the house in total disarray!

 

I know, you’ll say that this is nothing new,

but you don’t have to deal with all the noise;

sometimes it feels like living in a zoo!

 

It’s just the second day and all their toys

are strewn around the floor in every room.

And did you know that girls were worse than boys?

 

They argue all the time, and I assume

the silence is a temporary truce;

can’t wait until hostilities resume.

 

Why did we ever think to reproduce?

In retrospect, we were completely mad!

And what’s the worst you get for child abuse?

 

Believe me friend, it really is that bad,

and though I wouldn’t smack them for those shrieks,

can they not turn the volume down a tad?

 

Despite it all, I love the little freaks,

but how’m I gonna last for eight more weeks?