deep cuts too cold to flow
put neil young on the radio
jab a finger in and try to spill 'er
cortez cortez what a killer

contusion blue I stop the bleeding
stop writing the you all over me

black label paste a plaster mask across my face
"organically grown in a cruelty-free zone" is what I say

'cuz a buffer's the thing to cinch up the feeding
and cover the red they never need see

now, there's beauty in silence
an armor to guard me and my heart like a secret

and I no longer flinch when they kick up the sand
and whisper sweet nothings

like "the recklessness of love is only for the young"

◄ saving face

truth or dare? (even no answer is an answer) ►



Sun 14th Jul 2019 09:29

We did have that conversation, and thank goodness, too, for the breathing room--I don't often de-constrict those airways )

The Dylan is great (pretty magnificent, tbh) and I can believe that NY would do it like only he could. It's quite something to see that Sam Shephard was a co-writer. I've always enjoyed watching him--some of the characters he played seemed so familiar, like people I could've known.

Thanks for looking in and for the song, David--what a piece of heaven.



Sun 14th Jul 2019 08:42

Thanks, Jason--I'm glad it moved you to respond. And, the advice can't hurt. Whatever it is I decide on, I believe I'll start practicing so that it just rolls right off my tongue like a well-worn muscle memory.


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Jason Bayliss

Sat 13th Jul 2019 18:05

Ah, one of my all time favourite movies. The thing that got to me with this was that whilst it's beautifully poetic, it also, for me, had a really sad, stark, matter of fact, way about it which only adds to it's impact. Love it. It makes me very sad on one hand and on the other, very proud of someone who got themselves out of an abusive situation.
Oh, and the Russian ballet thing, nope, that won't work. If you want people to stop asking what you're doing, you have to make them sorry they asked in the first place, make it something truly boring.
I always used to say I was on a health and safety in the workplace course, you could see their eyes glaze over, and the internal question, "What the fuck did I ask that for?" Flicker through their mind.
Trust me, I've disappeared in the crowd many times before ?.

J. x


Sat 13th Jul 2019 16:07

Thanks, Tom And Stu.

I'm far far from home at the moment and have been for several months now. I was just thinking last night about how many times I've been asked, "why are you here?" and how it's getting increasingly harder to answer.

I'm considering saying I'm with the Russian ballet next time it comes up--maybe such an obvious lie will discourage further probing.

Rachel )

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Stu Buck

Sat 13th Jul 2019 15:17

great words as ever rachel

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Sat 13th Jul 2019 14:54

Love these lines in particular:

"contusion blue I stop the bleeding
stop writing the you all over me"


Sat 13th Jul 2019 14:46

Not that it has much to do with anything I wrote, but I found this modern take on one of my favorite movies...


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