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The Summer of my Dismay (Volume 27)

Granite are the waters of the earth, the sands of time

                        blazed to charcoal

blurred with the grime of the millions; only a dime

                           per redeemed soul!

Lukewarm the tears filling the sewers of a subconciouss 

                              that just awoke

Steadily the manicured hand wields a plastic holy cross 

                            bathed in diet coke. 

"Tomorrow will be early" too late for the channel lackeys

                   to take back yesterday's news...

51 shades of frustration, disarray, boredom; the psyches

               of the wealthy quickly change hues.

And while old Queen Life is resting her purse on her rickety 

                               trembling weary lap

gallantly handing out kind words, bonbons and gum sticky 

                            with empathy and sap.

not quite resigned and begging for a "hello" and hopefully 

                         some polite small talk 

with the unkind, ennuied, haughty youth who shun her

                         and get up and walk.

"I hear that the sundown is better seen from this year's 

                           summer hot spot"

Even better if watched behind pointless and trendily 

                           sarcastic brand sunglasses 

Nonchalant, they "bail from the scene", leaving her existence to slowly

                         narrow down to nought,

until she's dust; obscure, forsaken and forgot; wasting away in lowly 

                          antiquated city buses.

 

◄ Mirror Says

Wake Up And Smell Reality ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Fri 12th Jul 2019 09:29

Thank you for an awesome review Jason! I call this style the "Jason Bayliss"! It has just the best rhythm. But it was tough .. I don't know how you do it.
Thank you my friend ?
Mae

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Jason Bayliss

Fri 12th Jul 2019 09:22

Well where do I start? I know, brilliant. Love it. The subject matter, the rhythm and imbued tempo, the lovely rolling rhyme within rhyme and then there are so many really clever lines that it's hard to break them down. I love the imagery of,

"Granite are the waters of the earth, the sands of time blazed to charcoal,
blurred with the grime of the millions; only a dime per redeemed soul!"

And the line, "Steadily the manicured hand wields a plastic holy cross bathed in diet coke." Is just a little thing of beauty.
Really, really like this, the style suits you.

J. x

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Mae Foreman

Wed 10th Jul 2019 22:09

Thank you Jason Z.! I'm glad you liked that one, it's one of my favorite lines in the piece ?
Mae

<Deleted User> (22158)

Wed 10th Jul 2019 22:04

Great work, Mae!

"Steadily the manicured hand wields a plastic holy cross

bathed in diet coke."

My favorite line in your poem. Humorous and powerful simultaneously. Nice.

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Mae Foreman

Wed 10th Jul 2019 21:39

Thank you Dorothy!?
Mae

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Mae Foreman

Wed 10th Jul 2019 21:17

Thanks Devon! Really, "wow"? Thanks so much!?
Mae

Devon Brock

Wed 10th Jul 2019 21:16

Wow, Mae - just wow. All that and and intense rhythm to boot.

D

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Mae Foreman

Wed 10th Jul 2019 18:33

Thank you so much for the kind words Eiren! It's what I see...?
Thank you for stopping by?
Mae

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Eiren Water

Wed 10th Jul 2019 18:26

Wow, Mae! This is really beautifully poignant. Your images are rich with minutia that really pulls me into the scenes. I love it. Thanks for sharing this.

e. xxx

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