I fell in love with an older woman

Well when I say old, I mean, older than me

Now I know what you’re thinking,

that can’t possibly be,

but that’s where you’re wrong 

cos she’s a hundred and three

 

Ok, so what’s the attraction?

Money or looks?

Her experience and intelligence?

You’re all on tenterhooks,

‘cos you want me to give you all ‘t gory bits,

and your convinced it could be

the size of her...mitts,

‘cos as you get older yer ‘ands seem to spread,

you get aches and pains

when you get out of bed.

 

Did you notice how I missed out

about getting in it?

Well at 103 the sky’s not exactly the limit

No, It’s her smile I love when she goes to sleep

‘Cos I get to see her teeth clean and neat

In a glass int’ bathroom,

they look shiny and new,

unless just before bed she’s had

a very strong brew.

 

Now people worry about the difference in age

and think she’s trying to take advantage

Of me fame and fortune as an Urban Poet

But I have a cunning plan, they don’t know it

I’ll wait until she dies you see

She’ll leave everything she has to little old me.

Well that’s how I thought it would all pan out,

till I found her Will when I was routing about.

 

I just couldn’t believe what I saw,

and me jaw dropped almost on to the floor,

as the contents of her Will were there to see

The money and the house were going to...

the dogs home at Battersea.

The tight auld Witch!

The Urban Poet 2019