Life and death the only real question.
I am the undying
Lost in a dream of death.
The cigarette dances upon my lips
At four of the morning time
A time for mourning mime.
There is no sleep for the lost
I feel it deeply to my cost
Just to feel death so close.
The rope in my closet calls to me
All could be over all could be free
But it just won’t be.
I dream awake of not dreaming
Mindless mind numb with death
I try to read Camus my love.
I think of Hunter S Thompson
His ideas cascade and I understand
He knew the truth, not so bland.
The fear of loss grows further away
I feel my need to leave and decay
Why won’t it happen?
Not to await the last judgement
It awaits us everyday in every way
Peace is for no one all have to pay.
What saves me from crossing the styx
Every night my mind tortures “David”.
Where are you my beautiful boy?
I long to be free of the pain
Its not by light disdain I refrain
Its battlements grow weaker.
I cling to the myth of Sysiphus
Each day weaker then the next
The absurdity of life grows great.
As I face that great damned gate.