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Just deserts

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I struggle every day to remain well,
It's an obstacle course, of sorts,
Yesterday, I was ko'd, knocked out,
But before the count of 10 I was 
Up again, fighting to recover my balance, poise. On my toes
I rise to the challenge. Today,  I Am fasting, The best detox I know,
Hoping I will recover, in time 
To watch a film, have a meal,
Get up from my bed. Be well.
It's been like this since cancer struck.
Illness has liberated me from any vestiges of Arrogance and pomposity
When I can walk, I look at people's
Faces and wonder what crosses
They themselves must carry.
The secret is to see myself as lucky
My family, my poetry, music and study
All insulate me from the demons of despair
But, on wild nights or windy, I wonder
Where we'd be without this fall into mortality:
A pre-Lapsarian paradise where those we love will never die
And nightingales will, forever, sing to their full-Throated ease beneath the truest and bluest
Of high blue skies.

 

 

 

◄ Heavenly

The swinging bridge ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Thu 7th Feb 2019 11:55

Fight it comrade. Fight it with all this formidable might you have inside you. Fight it with your words and with your actions too. And you know another thing that never ceases to amaze me daily; something that works as a pool full of brightness, wisdom, compassion and endurance that you can tap in when you're all out! Humanity, John. People. I'm not saying, let go and rely upon others. Absolutely not! Just watch them, observe them. Let them mesmerize and inspire you. That's what I'm saying. Just tap in.
Thank you?
Mae

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victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Wed 6th Feb 2019 18:21

Powerful imagery about things most of us take for granted, a reminder of our mortality, and the beautiful role poetry plays in it all. We are all indeed lucky to be here in this space and time. Thanks for sharing John. ?

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John Marks

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 23:30

Thank you all for commenting so kindly upon my poem 'Just deserts'and you twice Lisa.
!! And you Phil - I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. We lost our infant son to Meningitis in 1989 and a day doesnt go by without me thinking of him. He'd have been 30 this year. As Philip Larkin so memorably said in his poem, 'The Mower': "we should be kind / While there is still time."

All good wishes

John

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lisa donohoe

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 21:32

You are truly inspirational, I my self have fought cervical cancer and I could not express the pain so eloquently as you have.. I will keep you in my prayers. Phill I am deeply sorry for your loss, no parent should have to bury a precious child so young, you are in my thoughts.

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Jon

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 21:06

Hi John
Beautifully expressed, this made me stop, think and listen to the deeper essence of the Poem.
Great stuff
Jon

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Jon Stainsby

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 20:55

All strength to you, John. Great work.

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Various

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 19:53

John I lost my eighteen year old son to cancer three years ago, what shines and always will is the courage and ability to go face to face with this blight.
Your poem is an inspiration. As are all the fighters as I can see you know. Thank you for sharing this.

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John Marks

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 18:47

Thank you Lisa. You have a good heart. It was not easily written but I thought it might encourage another person to fight against the ravages of illness and disease and also against medical prophets of doom I was told by 'an eminent surgeon' that I had three years to live in 2006. But I'm still here. So there is always hope.

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not;
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell
Of saddest thought.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

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lisa donohoe

Sun 3rd Feb 2019 18:10

John
Your word's have brought me to tears, not because of your struggles. Simply because your strength is to be truly admired and appreciated for all that you are. Your words are encouraging and soft, your pain is felt and I would like to say how sorry I am for all that you have been threw. You're a strong man full of love and idea's, nothing has defeated you yet because you still write with such passion, well done ..
I loved reading this piece ??

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