A Living Hell

The reason I want to die today

Is my overwhelming shame

At being a human who rapes the earth

Pollutes the air and sea

Demands the right to take what I want

With no notion of, or interest in, the consequence


The reason I want to die today

Is my heart breaking sorrow

For sentient beings waiting in abbatoirs

At this very moment,

Hungry, de-hydrated, trembling

In darkened rooms, on cold, hard floors

Listening to the steely song of death


The reason I want to die today

Is total self disgust

When I stand with friends, family, colleagues.

People I respect and love and do not speak my truth

For fear of being shunned, dismissed.

My silence, snake like, colludes, condones our crime


Sometimes I want to live another day

And hope glows like embers on which I blow

That sometimes ignite, burst into flames

Or, sometimes grow cold, fade and die.


But mostly I want to die.

To free myself

From cowardice,

From clouded judgements.

From the inability to jump

From this fence

And say it how it is.

Under a spell of narcissism

We cannot tell

Wrong from right

Day from night

We create a living Hell 


◄ Pain or Suffering?

To know God ►


<Deleted User> (19913)

Sun 17th Feb 2019 09:25

I can relate Hazel, the horrors of the world and how we face it can sometimes be too much to bear. Wonderful poem.

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Hazel ettridge

Fri 25th Jan 2019 23:27

Thanks for commenting Jon, Big Sal, Ray, Jason and Rich. It's always great to read other people's thoughts.

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Tue 22nd Jan 2019 17:30

This is really well put, and I believe many of us can relate to this. I really like this poem.

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Jason Bayliss

Tue 22nd Jan 2019 16:16

Well good, I'd rather you won the lottery, but then I'd quite like to win it myself.
Although frankly Hazel, I think we've both got more chance of juggling soot.?

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Tue 22nd Jan 2019 14:44

Sometimes I think there is a raised awareness of the fragility of consciences Hazel. What was acceptable in my parent's time would not be today, and we are all painfully aware now. Is that a good thing? More like a global karma at work I would say. If we were forced to kill our own food sources I think we would all wise up quickly. Meanwhile, let's protect indeed encourage allotments rather than building millions of homes.

A very honest poem thanks.


Big Sal

Tue 22nd Jan 2019 13:02

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but the thoughts within are always worth saving if they will aid a journey or two. >

Self-preservation is a universal need for animals, but the want to destroy is distinctly human (or simian). >

It takes more strength to build a bridge than it does to bring it down.

Great poem, Hazel.

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Jon Stainsby

Tue 22nd Jan 2019 12:53

I really like this, Hazel. I can relate to it.

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Hazel ettridge

Tue 22nd Jan 2019 12:49

Thanks, Jason. No I won't be taking my own life. I want to die in the same way I want to win the lottery - no real sense that it's going to happen.

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Jason Bayliss

Tue 22nd Jan 2019 12:38

I really like that poem, I just hope that you don't actually want to die today, or anytime soon because it seems like you have plenty to offer to the world.

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