Always been mute
and super super shy
easier to type
than to say out loud
don't see the blue anymore
only purple now
I go asleep then I peak
never the right time
to just sit and speak
I forget myself
then comes the stutter
makes me mad
makes me stumble
mumble mumble
comes out wrong
try try again
I lack the patience
but perfection I know
I can't feel because
nothing is perfect to me
even the moon
that full and round
cannot this heart
erupt a sound
time it takes
in the mud
to sink awhile
under wood
blink in the sun
dream times ten
again in my head
I have the dread
but my soul is sound
blue and loud
I don't really know
what it is I
want to howl
I just know
I gotta say it out loud
I like to read
make the syllables speak
to make a sound
without a stutter
without forgetting
how to breathe
nor the words
I'm trying to speak
it's all reverse to me
I already lost
my chance to the sea
and the rest of me
crawled away unsaved
to this lonely cave
in which I dwell
a prisoner to myself
and lately I've come to know
that will always be so
but on I go
because I saw infinity
in a dream
she spoke to me
and I know inside
this constricted brain
somewhere deep remains
the true source of my pain
but all is lost
a flurry of red and yellow
and although I'm standing
straight yelling
there's no sound coming out
just melons.



◄ Silver Grey Blue

Infinite ►


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Douglas MacGowan

Mon 31st Dec 2018 00:39

A sad and touching story of being "stuck" in life. Dark feelings well-captured.

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