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Satnav life

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This month I will keep my temper

and eat healthily

and exercise three times a week

and be tidier.

I will keep right

 

Today I pigged out on junk

to cheer myself up after arguing with that moron,

I mean the missus,

who said I was fat, lazy and untidy,

trouble is she was right, I have not kept right.

 

Recalculating

 

This week I will help at the charity

and write a letter to my MP.

I will call up lonely friends

and be kind to my family.

I will keep right

 

The charity has banned me for being rude

to those nutters they call 'service users'

I can't be bothered to write or call, it's knocked me

but at least the family's still talking to me, just.

What is this right I've got to keep to?

 

Recalculating

 

This evening, I will go to the party

I will behave myself

and be friendly and sober

and have a nice time

I will keep right

 

I am at the party

and I am not behaving myself.

I think I insulted that woman

and I am definitely pissed.

I have not kept right.

 

Recalculating

 

Today, this very hour, I will have a walk

I will centre myself and attend to Nature

I will find peace and silence, and perhaps grace

I will come back a new person

I really will keep right

 

I will recalculate

 

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As back ground - I’ve become fascinated by the way my new Garmin Satnav says “Recalculating” whenever I go “wrong”, apparently without getting upset. The Garmin lady also says “Keep Right” when what she means is “Turn Right”. Sorry if you knew that already

◄ Coffin Life

Emma ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (6470)

Tue 26th Jan 2010 21:52

Hi Dave, I really like this one, very clever!

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Isobel

Mon 25th Jan 2010 18:13

I think it is time to reprogramme your satnav Dave - this poem screams frustration to me - sometimes it just feels good to be naughty without beating yourself up about it...A super poem that many may identify with.

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Francine

Fri 22nd Jan 2010 22:17

I LOVE this Dave!

Many can relate to this I think ; )
Funny... and so true!

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Andy N

Fri 22nd Jan 2010 08:16

enjoyed this, dave.. the use off 'recalculating' is a nice touch certainly, but i must admit i would have being tempted to at least try to see what it is like minus it.. even why, i loved the diary like entries and the way you scattered them all over the piece... i did a piece like that in my blog last year called 'ditched it' where i did it month by month, but yours is very different for the way it jumps all round the place.. good one m8

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