To beloved H.G. (had to be written down)

 

I wish you were here to witness how you’d turn out had you not been burnt by the fire in you.

I wish you had stuck here long enough to give the long road a chance, see there’s an exit at the end of it.

I wish I could steer you away from that misleading short-cut at the end of which lies that brick wall with the shabbily spray painted “Dead End” on it.

I wish you were here to see me fight every day. Then you’d see you can do it too. If I can, anybody can.

I wish I could play and sing for you all night long, like a jukebox, until I touch that special cord in you that would compel you to throw that glass against the wall. Throw that god damned delicious ember lotus cordial down the drain. I know how to...I'd hold your hand steady...

I wish I was there every day to walk you through it.

I wish I could show you away from the next whiskey bar and into that "high" inside your head. It’s extraordinary and, mind you, you can do wonders with it!

I wish you don’t die before your time.

I wish I could come and uproot you out of the quicksand of that fascinating era of yours and drag you into that grey dismal one of mine where you won’t be let off the hook just 'cause "bohemian is the “thing” of today."

I wish I could show you that there’s more to life than spending your time untill it casually runs out.

Surviving is not good enough sweetheart.

You're proud of it...I know. But it's not enough.

Surviving is the art of dying.

Everybody can do that; people survive every day. Most of them die the next.And there's no reward in it. The way you're driving there's no sweet oblivion waiting for you in the end. Only more pain and a slow tormenting decay.

Anybody can stay alive..But writing songs and going to space and curing cancer and having children…! Oh, I wish you knew "living"!

"Living!"

I wish I could touch your forehead and take away your pain; get rid of it for you. But I'm afraid only you can do that.

I’ve done it, thrice, in fact! Would you like me to show you how I did it?

I have taken thorough notes,I can lend them to you… I know I'm just a nerd but at least I've made it through.

I wish you could read my writing and know it’s all written for you.

Cause, you see, you might have earnt the right to say “Noone can understand me.” And it is your prerogative to say so and the fact that all of them will roll their eyes will just prove you right. 

But as much as I want to stroke your shoulder and say "You’re right sweetheart” and let you be I can’t!

Because it’s not true.

You are understood.

I understand you.

I see you.

I hear you.

And I wish you knew that.

I wish you knew that it’s possible to warm your bones with that fire in you, instead of burning yourself to the ground.

I wish I could show you how to kindle and harbor and make that endless night into a bright day with it.

If only you’d turn your eyes on me.

If only you opened your ears.

I'd fix you.

I would.

 

But nobody cares much for preaching

see, people like reading simple words

so maybe the right means for reaching

their ears is by my sharpest rhythmic swords!

Your daddy is dead and you’re hurting.

You’re in a dark place, I know.

But the expression on your face is alerting

And I really want to see that look go!

This night I’ll be drinking alongside you

But as of tomorrow, my friend,

I'll be there to help you, mind you

but this habit of drowning your sorrow

in whiskey must come to an end.

Since sullen sincerity is boring

I’ll now say it also in rhyme!

The state that you're in is abhorring.

You have to quit drinking, it’s time!

◄ Always On The Losing Side

The Sunday Blues ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Mon 7th Jan 2019 13:35

Thank you Alan! I feel very strongly about this particular idea, I really mean it. Surviving is not enough.Thank you again 🌷

And by the way, fellow poets,I'm happy to announce that H.G. grew a pair and took control after all! I won't go into details but H.G. is already well into doing the brave thing! I thought I should tell you since the story seemed to touch some of you.

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Alan Travis Braddock

Sun 6th Jan 2019 16:11

"Surviving is not good enough sweetheart." - that's a powerful and quotable line. Keep it with you,
Too many of us do just that, don't try to make a difference, anywhere.

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Mae Foreman

Sun 4th Nov 2018 10:45

Thank you Jon and Taylor! 👍 I didn't expect anyone to like it to be frank...

So thank all of you, you too Becky!

Mae

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sun 4th Nov 2018 06:48

Heart wrenching, a powerful piece. As you say it had to be written down Mae. 💕

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Jon Stainsby

Sun 4th Nov 2018 06:03

I really like this. Very powerful.

Thank you,

Jon.

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Mae Foreman

Sat 3rd Nov 2018 20:51

Thanks a lot Becky! It had to be written down... I'm glad it works!

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Becky Who

Sat 3rd Nov 2018 20:49

Strong stuff (no pun intended). I love the way this text hovers between being a poem, a prose poem and poetic prose. You have poured your heart into it and made a text that works.

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