There's a metaphor for this 
a wooden block, chopped and chipped
by the sways of life and lisp
broken by Stone and verb to become the stick 
so thin we re mistaken as straw ,
tossed in the with the stray dogs 
in a haywagon , 
spending life thinking that we re a needle
trying to squeeze life through an eye, but choking on the biblical camel

in looking for ourselves, we found a die to push thru and lost more than just our bark, worse off than our bite 
gumless , long-toothed, clumsy, stumbling thru on wrong and rite 
standing on ceremony : we get stage fright 

cure me

so here we are, shaped away and spindled down 
into a block to fit a slot and if you don't fit in, fuck off 
we re full

But the sign said 'help wanted'
these degrees are not to be flaunted 
and all I wanted to do was learn more 

about history 
about art
about the beauty of the human mind  and why any of those are important 

so I am left, shaven and sliced and whittled 
into a shape I do not recognize 
all of my tomorrow left on the floor over two painstaking decades 
and tho I grasp it, I know it died without me 
yesteryears ago.
and I'm all that's left 
plus 50 grand in debt 
disappointed grandparents 
and nowhere free to go 

Roused from sleeplessness 
we manifest :
"Hey maybe I can teach this shit"
become the diemaker and steer bright and hopeful lumber towards an easier life
cutting off less than I had shorn
ah yes, 
as a teacher I'll be reborn ! 
just for a few years , just 10, 20, 30
just til I can retire 
beaten smooth , hardened surly 
switching curriculum to sway left or right
elections pending , marking by night 
coffee stained teeth , the occasional strike
saccarine staff room rumors 
conversations about houses, cars, vacations,
chuckles, canned laughter 
occasional tumors
until the day we meet , eye to eye 

you looked so tired,
so thin, worn down
into so much less than that first class in 08.

I can't help but feel like we ve met before 
in a bathroom mirror somewhere 

and you ask me what to do 
tapping your transcripts

and I realize 

Ive failed you.

"But you can always teach"
What a shrug of a statement.
What a farce 
what a circus