Again got hurted, again they broke me down

Again I felt worthless, unwanted existence of mine, I have found

Again questioning eyes on me

Seems like they are asking how could I be part of it

Again got hurted, again they broke me down

Again many wounds all around

 

My repeated calls to them were unattended

Ignoring all and pretending like it is unintended

Nobody wants to respond this emotional fool...

Tears on my eyes never seen by anyone

No one has time, no one wishes to enquire what’s the matter behind?

Everyone knows but don’t want to get it noticed

They just want me to get the feeling that I am no more part of it

 

It’s big question mark on my existence

I just wonder how it could made me feel so unwanted

They want to accept me on their conditions

Seems there is no place for sentiments and emotions

 

Unconditional emotions, feelings, Love and affections

These are just words, the only words with no meaning

With no feeling..

The question on me by the surrounding people was to live in unity with my blood relations

To take care them even when there is no place for me

Like they have made barbed fences around them for me

 

If I want entry in their life, I have to accept every decision of them for lifetime

No scope for freedom of thoughts, no place for freedom of wishes

No right to find Happiness beyond their boundaries

 

I can’t imagine the life again which I led throughout under their custody

Feeling like how so many years I spent just like that with nobody

Arrogancy, dominancy, insensitiveness, materialistic living

These are their life’s trademarks and their principles of life

For which I am not eligible that’s why I am living a lonely life

 

I just wonder how the God has chosen this place for me

For which I am not worthy of it.

God is a good planner and controls execution of everyone’s life

Planning for placing someone in someone’s life should be defined

How can the Patience of one can be tested every second and while

Why it is not possible for everyone to make one Aim in life

To have peace of Mind, leading simple life

Why we want our life to be very tough and complex in such a way that there is no scope for a smile.

Why everyone wants to be tensed every time.

Simple thoughts, simple approach towards life is a crime.

 

Bindu Trigunayak