Great Aunt Aggie always insisted
she didn’t want a fuss for her funeral.
‘Just chuck me in a skip,’ she’d say,
so when she died, peacefully at home
at the age of ninety-two,
that’s what we did.
Disposing of a body in this way
is frowned on by the authorities,
as we discovered two days later,
when the law came knocking at the door,
‘We’ve nothing to hide,’ we said.
If we had, we could have chopped her into pieces,
or dissolved her in a bath of acid,
though going to that much effort
would have been missing the point.
At the very least we’d have gone further
than three doors down the road,
and we definitely wouldn’t have left her like that,
still clutching her handbag.
We agreed to pay a fine
of fifty pounds
This is taken from my book 'Killing the Piano' from Half Moon Books, and also appeared in the Poets' Republic Issue 5 and the recent Say Owt anthology.