The bright bright sun
Slowly I'm
staring
at the bright bright
sun
and all this time
I'm alone
as the sun shadows
it's darkness
behind you
and catches
you looking
at me:
now- I know
how old I am.
Comments
This is lovely, Tommy. 'the sun shadows its darkness behind you and catches you looking at me' is superb. 'I know how old I am' is literally up for grabs - what does he mean? Any phrase that provokes real thought is like a pebble flipped into a pond.
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<Deleted User> (7164)
Fri 8th Jan 2010 12:47
This is great.
Imagery in the moment of staring into the sun and blindness that causes, then the realization that you're not alone. Wonderful.
I like the twist in the last lines. They are what give it the edge.
Janet.x