Autobiography (seems to be a theme on WOL at the moment)

I am that woman who does yoga

Then sits on the beach

Eating oranges and writing poetry

I am that woman who watches her weight

Then takes the grand kids

For pizza and icecream on Friday evening

I am that woman who listens to TED talks

And checks out youtube

For mindfulness, shamanism and grannies dancing.

I am that woman who is an almost vegan

And (you guessed already)

Compassion in World Farming is her favourite charity.

I am that woman who house-keeps carelessly

(let the spiders keep their webs)

But works her socks off professionally.

I am that woman who lives alone

(it may be wrong but feels so right)

In quirky cottage with wilderness garden.

I am that woman who has a cat

(and currently a seagull too)

Another beating heart to make a home.

I am that woman who pays men

To paint and decorate and to do

All those jobs crying out for power tools.

I am that woman who paints her toe nails

A secret that lies hidden

Beneath her stripey, eco, bamboo socks.

I am that woman

I am that woman who

I am that woman who is........

Not the end.

◄ The other C word

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Hazel ettridge

Sat 30th Jun 2018 10:23

Thanks Colin. I'll take one please. No need to wrap.
Also enjoyed the Kate Bush Big Sky you posted for Graham.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 30th Jun 2018 08:48

something for the weekend Hazel - hope it's a good one.

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Hazel ettridge

Sat 30th Jun 2018 08:18

Graham - the maker of dreams? She is the fairies midwife, and she comes in shape no bigger than an agate stone on the forefinger of an alderman.

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Hazel ettridge

Sat 30th Jun 2018 08:03

Don, you've mentioned the naked mud roll in several of your comments - it obviously appeals, so just go do it. I don't know about the quality of the mud down under. Here we get a lot of rain so mud is in plentiful supply. Health and Safety requires you to take a friend in case you get into trouble - sinking mud, snakes, poisonous frogs etc it's best done in the middle of an electric storm for maximum excitement. If you can't find anywhere locally, perhaps you could set up your own little enterprise? Send me a commission after youve made your first million.

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 30th Jun 2018 05:46

Very reminiscent of the Queen Mab soliloquy in R&J but in reverse?

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Don Matthews

Fri 29th Jun 2018 23:50

You've told us quite a lot 'bout you
Hazel et-ter-idge
Do you really groove at the granny-dance club
Is this true Hazel e, ridgy didge?

You seem quite reluctant to tell me
'Bout this mud-roll thing
I've got to the part where I'm stark naked Haze
When I roll in the mud can I sing?

I'd just like to pick up on our Anya
Strong-feeler, quick-speaker, too-short-thinker
I also strong-feel, speak-too-quick and don't go over 'fore press SEND
I bait Brian, which I love (and a grammar-tinker)

Sorry to detract my comments from you
Got caught up with Anya's reveal
I thank you for telling me about how you live
And how Hazel e she does feel


Dad..What?..Spider webs...What webs?...

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Hazel ettridge

Fri 29th Jun 2018 22:14

Darren, paint your toe nails, it's a great secret to have, like wearing red knickers, or having a tattoo where no-one can see it.

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Darren J Beaney

Fri 29th Jun 2018 16:41

Great Hazel.

I love the last 4 lines especially.

I just paid a man to decorate our house, and I am a menace with a drill..

I don’t paint my toe nails, but that doesn’t mean I may not do so some time....



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keith jeffries

Fri 29th Jun 2018 16:36

Thank you for this poem as I now have the most personal portrait of you. I read it perched on the arm of my sofa, but when I reached the last four lines I nearly fell off with strangulated suspense. The line, ¨let spiders keep their webs ¨sums up my partner when blitzing the sitting room. I so enjoyed this and thank you again.

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