Choice Made

This is what I don't like about my parents dying

The awful fucking grief that kills me inside

The knowing I won't see them again in this world

I will have to wait till I cross to the other side

How will I find myself for the rest of my life?

Wondering knowing feeling hating these emotions

And thoughts that have never ever been like this before

It almost feels like I just saw my parents die badly

But that of course is silly for I wasn't there at their end

I was 7000 miles away in the Philippines living my life

With my wife of 4 years who I moved to join

Yes I am selfish for choosing her over them

But they were old and had lived their lives

I am still young with lots to do and live and more

Including feel like this which floors me like a shot

I made my choice and here I am...