never look a Trojan gift horse in the mouth
I heard the voices in the street
I looked out of my window neat
Dragging the curtains open wide
Couldn’t believe the sight outside
A great big horse, enormous, stood
And made completely out of wood.
A rough old beast, clapboard and nails
With mops for mane, a sheet for tail
Of wooden crates and pallets built.
I rushed to hide under my quilt!
The neighbours were all blaming me
For that horse made of bits of tree.
I had to venture outside soon
Just couldn’t stay inside my room
The music must be faced I know
I had to meet those down below
And see that horse that seemed to be
a present just for little me.
The planks were rough, construction poor
And there was sawdust on the floor
The eyes were made of saucepan lids.
I hated it, I really did!
The label said “A gift for Ann”
Maybe a present from some man?
The head was like a cubist nightmare
It really was a total fright mare!
The legs were trunks of knarled old trees
With knots and lumpy knobbly knees
The hooves had wheels to glide upon
A rough old saddle to sit on
And, I’d not noticed it before
The horses belly had a door.
I got a ladder and climbed high
It seemed I’d almost reached the sky
Opened the door - what can I say!
Sitting inside was that James May.
He said “Young lady have no fear
It’s just a stunt for that Top Gear.”
Well, James and I we fell in love
He was my gift from up above.
Blissfully happy now, of course
I owe it all to that darned horse!