Your Poem Is Still Young

Your poem is still young
I have not mastered it just yet
I am constantly revising
Still working on the phrasing

Your poem is still young
Though it's meaning is defined
I only have the final line
Those last three certain words

Your poem is still young
Each year instils some new ideas
Your actions suggest more rhymes
And we have many years to go

Your poem is still young
Though I recite it constantly
My aim is to perfect it
Through every day and night

Your poem is still young
I'd hoped to have found a way to say
To address all of the beauty and joy
There is in you, by now, but no

Your poem is still young
And I am glad to say that
It remains unfinished even now
Open on the pages of my favourite notebook

Oh, your poem is still young
Still improving with every moment
That we lay together, safe in the flames
Until the end of time, I'll sing:

I love you...

(2008)

Lay Down Your Guard ►

Comments

darren thomas

Thu 17th Dec 2009 07:58

This certainly maintained THIS reader's interest.
Well thought out. Written work that mentions what's to come in the latter stages indicates a degree of thought and planning and together with the sentiment and theme employed here, combine to make this an enjoyable read. Minor 'typo' in "Though it's meaning is defined" - apostrophe not required in <it's> and the title states "Your poem is Young" whereas the refrain states 'your poem is still young'. Not sure if this adds a little confusion - but I suppose it depends on how deep you want to dive into the semantics. I'm always reminded of what Billy Collins says about poem titles and their first lines...It's like stepping from a canoe onto the riverbank.

I don't do WOLOP - but if I did...

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 15th Dec 2009 18:22

Absolutely lovely - tone is captured immediately and maintained throughout with great skill.

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Ann Foxglove

Tue 15th Dec 2009 08:55

A beautiful sensitive poem, carefully thought out and full of love - and poetry.

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