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ROYAL VISIT

A train terminating in Troon

brings Harry and Megan to town.

The Lord Lieutenant will carry the pennant,

there'll be swapping of keys and a spoon. 

 

Harry will wear his kilt,

Megan dressed up to the hilt,

Mrs Fitzpatrick will open her cafe

tastefully rebuilt. 

 

Penelope Keith will be there

with wonderful teeth and hair,

Megan Markle will be sure to sparkle,

with sass and American flair. 

 

The event is raising money,

Penelope is sure to be funny,

there'll be prizes galore, a fete they'll adore,

and presentation honey. 

 

There'll be pipes and the firing of cannon,

a signed LP by Del Shannon,

the putting of shot will hit the right spot

with a coach full of girls from Clackmannon. 

◄ THE MEMORY THIEF

REMEMBERING THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT ►

Comments

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raypool

Wed 16th May 2018 15:12

Blimey, just realized I am late to the plate. Thank you for yourwelcome comments re this piece of frippery.

Suki, I feel that being close to the Royals has often resulted in a sort of vaporising , a bit like excommunication. I don't think Ant and Dec will benefit for their flirtations for example, and other retainers have been cast out without benefit of free recall. At least they don't suffer beheading these days. A rare thing is democracy and hard won. Thanks.

Appreciated Col. Funnily enough, I really struggled with the rhyming ; it's often derided, but a tricky art it remains. I have read this at open mike, and always get a laugh after "teeth and hair." (Which is nice).
Off on hols soon.

Stu, Thanks, how low can one get ! At least we don't get the thought police knocking - oh. hang on there's a ring at the door....?

Thanks you for the likes, Frances, Brian and Anya. x

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raypool

Wed 16th May 2018 15:01

Thanks Mark for that little Megan sparkler. Regrettably, whatever may be the convolutions of royal politics I fear I may not have sufficient curiosity to uncover the sordid truth; though no doubt others will benefit from more particulars I am not one of them! As Emma Thompson said yesterday " I don't know them." Common sense is so wonderful.

Ray

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 16th May 2018 13:37


The saga of Megan Markle's father and "will he...won't he?" be there to give her away is certainly intriguing.
The knowledge of Prince Charles' low opinion of its
Royal Family correspondent Nicholas Witchell didn't
see the BBC moving their former newsreader elsewhere.
Perhaps their ads. in The Guardian offer a guide in the
decision to persist with him in that unique position?

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raypool

Tue 15th May 2018 18:07

I am sorry to find that since posting this bit of fun, there is now a cloud hanging over the royal wedding which I was unaware of at the time. So please forgive me for what might appear to be in bad taste.
Thanks all. I'll be back to acknowledge later!

Ray

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Stu Buck

Tue 15th May 2018 09:56

fucking hilarious and spot on with the satire

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 15th May 2018 08:18

Great fun Ray. What was it that Charlie mumbled about Witchell? Classic.

Some wonderful rhyming in this poem too.

Enjoy your hols. Col.

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suki spangles

Tue 15th May 2018 06:10

Hi Ray,

Let the genuflecting begin. The media are absolutely saturating us plebs with the propaganda. Who are we to laugh at north Korean TV?

Sir Lord Dame Nicholas Witchell - all his life he has waited for this moment. He'll be a senior freemason soon if he isn't careful..

Suki

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raypool

Mon 14th May 2018 22:23

I thought it should be discreetly mentioned that should this royal joust ever take place, as I believe it will, the royal lady will no longer be known by her birth name, as that would be non de rigeur, and strictly non U. Also of course highly embarrassing (quote from Sir Nicholas Witchell, proposed and seconded with sword lightly applied. )

Ray

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