An Editable Feast

 

Silence seems to be practising on me
from that uncertain distance 
where the sky meets the sea. 
Looking so far without obstacle
I don't know what I perceive.
Is that the other bank of a vast river,
and how might things be viewed from there?

On a day like this great ocean is
laying foam upon the sands
awakening my toes way down there
miles above my head wide sky is
throwing halcyon birds to the left
and my thoughts not confused but abiding 
with the roar or whisper of ancient waves
turn over a scalloped shell I'll keep for
her colours are light and what is perfect
about her form words can't truly describe.

Work In Progress

◄ Once An Acorn

7/4 ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 29th Apr 2018 20:27

appreciate your response Adam.

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Adam Whitworth

Sun 29th Apr 2018 09:57

Thanks for your encouraging comments Colin.

I thought perhaps the second verse might BE the view from "over there" (ancient greece or something, as always!) and as such is entitled to read quite differently. Perhaps they hadn't invented puncuation back then.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 29th Apr 2018 08:53

Great title and opening line Adam. As a 'work in progress' poem the two verses seem a little disconnected. I prefer the first and would be interested to see those thoughts explored further. But there's lots to like in the second verse too. Either way I enjoyed reading. Thanks for posting. Colin.

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