You know someone who knows a man
He thinks could help you out;
He’ll come around, he’s got a van,
If you give him a shout.
They say he’s in the building trade,
And very versatile;
Your plumbing fixed or paving laid,
All with a cheeky smile.
He’s got a mate who’ll lend a hand
With all the heavy stuff;
You’ll get good prices on demand,
And they’ll be near enough.
He’ll want his costs in ready cash,
No bills, no VAT;
No letterheads, no nothing flash,
Won’t give a guarantee.
And when he’s paid, he’ll disappear,
He’ll fade into the dawn.
You won’t see him again, I fear,
Cos once he’s paid, he’s gone.