You know someone who knows a man

He thinks could help you out;

He’ll come around, he’s got a van,

If you give him a shout.

 

They say he’s in the building trade,

And very versatile;

Your plumbing fixed or paving laid,

All with a cheeky smile.

 

He’s got a mate who’ll lend a hand

With all the heavy stuff;

You’ll get good prices on demand,

And they’ll be near enough.

 

He’ll want his costs in ready cash,

No bills, no VAT;

No letterheads, no nothing flash,

Won’t give a guarantee.

 

And when he’s paid, he’ll disappear,

He’ll fade into the dawn.

You won’t see him again, I fear,

Cos once he’s paid, he’s gone.