You had to see it to believe it in the call centre
How you had to queue up twice in the lines
To hand in your bag and phone
Mard arse ******* security guards thinking they're God
Elevated to a lofty status beyond you and me
Who the **** do these twoddles think they are?
Donald Damn ******* Trump?
At least he's a really rich arsehole
The fake guards bellow and strut and act all important
'Put your cellphones, ifones, laptops, computers and TVs here!'
Another plastic guard joins the litany:
'And form a separate line and place your bags here!'
Well **** me six times with three hookers
I don't wanna queue up two ******* times!
I wanna go home and drink my warm bloody English beer!
'You there! Don't put your gadget in your bag. You must queue up twice. You can't buck the system. We're smart and know all the tricks!'
Off to the back of the second flaming line
I will never ever queue up here again
Nor ever give the smarmy guards another chance to feel like God
Bossing me about and being damn wannabes
They're manning the desk in Reasons Call Centre and are all plonkers
Screw their little mind games and rules
I'm resigning from my crap job to be a tank driver
Then I'll bloody show them who's boss...