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When wear and tear determines that your old belt’s days are done

(Perhaps the holes have widened or the buckle pin has gone)

So when you walk for twenty yards they drop down past your bum

Then obligation places

A need on sturdy braces,


But if you’re quite an active chap or handy just like me

You’ll find that when you bend and stretch the snap-ons just snap free;

One nearly took my eye out once while planting up my peas!

And so were born these Aces –

My carabiner braces.


You’ll note that they’re both functional as well as fashion-wear;

The Mother of Invention was, in this case, Disrepair;

And spending money on new clothes had always made me swear;

So as with other cases

I came up with these braces.


I must confess it came to parting with a bob or two

But you don’t mind for quality so Poundland’s just for you

And so I thought these bungee straps with dog clips might just do

And cheaper than Homebase’s

For carabiner braces.


But never in my wildest dreams did I suppose that then

I would get an invite to appear on Dragon’s Den;

While in the meantime Hugo Boss and also News at Ten

And even New York’s Macy’s

Had interest in my braces.


But sadly before fame and fortune in my lap could drop

Our Gert decided that this silly escapade should stop

And with a pair of scissors she then gave the straps the chop

“There’ll be no more disgraces

With your stupid dog-clip braces!”.




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John Coopey

Tue 20th Mar 2018 23:08

Thanks, Steve.

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steve pottinger

Tue 20th Mar 2018 20:25


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John Coopey

Sun 18th Mar 2018 20:14

Yes, Ray, I suppose there are any number of secondary uses to which you can put these carabiners.

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Sun 18th Mar 2018 18:02

They would have been ok for a touch of the old millstone grit climbing too John ! Dare I say it.


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John Coopey

Sun 18th Mar 2018 16:43

Thanks, Colin. Our Gert thinks quite rightly that I waste my time.

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John Coopey

Sun 18th Mar 2018 10:07

“Beige” you say, Kev. A man of some discernment. They’re on their way.

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kJ Walker

Sun 18th Mar 2018 09:39

Can I order a pair John. Beige, I don't want to be too flash

Cheers Kevin

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John Coopey

Sat 17th Mar 2018 23:49

It's because I have an aversion to spending money, Brian.

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Brian Maryon

Sat 17th Mar 2018 17:12

John you are clearly of the baby-boomer problem-solving generation.

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John Coopey

Sat 17th Mar 2018 16:52

I’d have cut quite a dash I’m sure, Hannah.

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Hannah Collins

Sat 17th Mar 2018 14:21

I would like to have seen you on Dragon's Den.
Shame about the ending, love the story.


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