The Bride Wore Blue

 

The bride wore blue

to match her tattoos

and the groom was a staggering wreck,

With his broken nose

and his wilted rose

and the love-bites all over his neck.

 

The hall was bare,

just tables and chairs,

and the snow blew in under the door,

We were there six hours

and the beer was sour

and the cake ended up on the floor.

 

The speeches were short,

then the in-laws all fought,

while some others sneaked off to the pub,

The groom was so pissed,

swung a punch but he missed,

and he landed face-down in the grub.

 

A gaggle of schoolies,

tanked-up and unruly,

were cursing and smoking and snogging,

Then a gran, unashamed,

yelled "Sod this for a game,

is there anyone else coming dogging?"

 

Never spent so much time 

casting pearls before swine,

the whole crowd was a pain in the neck,

Though I worked my balls off

they then topped it all off

by paying not cash, but by cheque!

 

Yes - the bride wore blue

to match her tattoos,

but the gig was worth more than the wage;

This night of frustration

was ideal preparation

for this glamorous life on the stage...