I’ll gorge myself on Cheddar that was made in Cheddar Gorge,
And follow with a little slice of Lappi.
I’d even try a bootleg Brie that someone tried to forge,
And a Limburger is bound to make me happy.
The Wensleydale’s so crumbly that I’ll swap for some Roquefort,
Or maybe for a bit of Danish Blue;
Whichever one I have it always leaves me wanting more,
And the Feta is a fait accompli too.
The Stilton leaves me wilting so I’ll eat that Caerphilly,
Or Lancashire though there’ll be lots of crumbs;
Instead perhaps it’s better that I have some Halloumi
Accompanied by grapes and dates and plums.
Red Leicester might be favoured on the radical left wing,
If the flavour of your politics is there;
Blue Cheshire could be better if the far right is your thing,
But myself, I think I’ll stick with Camembert.