I’ll gorge myself on Cheddar that was made in Cheddar Gorge,

And follow with a little slice of Lappi.

I’d even try a bootleg Brie that someone tried to forge,

And a Limburger is bound to make me happy.

 

The Wensleydale’s so crumbly that I’ll swap for some Roquefort,

Or maybe for a bit of Danish Blue;

Whichever one I have it always leaves me wanting more,

And the Feta is a fait accompli too.

 

The Stilton leaves me wilting so I’ll eat that Caerphilly,

Or Lancashire though there’ll be lots of crumbs;

Instead perhaps it’s better that I have some Halloumi

Accompanied by grapes and dates and plums.

 

Red Leicester might be favoured on the radical left wing,

If the flavour of your politics is there;

Blue Cheshire could be better if the far right is your thing,

But myself, I think I’ll stick with Camembert.