COAT HANGERS

Coat hangers queue like question marks 

waiting for answers -

asking why they have no shoulders to cry on, 

no clothes to rely on.

 

"Perhaps," they might say, " our owners have

left us on the dead rail;

but why O why did they go away?"

🌷 (5)

◄ SCHOOL PHOTOS

MUMMY AND DADDY ►

Comments

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Martin Elder

Fri 12th Jan 2018 09:03

Yep I have to agree with everybody else that certainly is a killer of a no opening line which draws the reader along through the rest of the piece. Excellent poem Ray

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raypool

Tue 2nd Jan 2018 20:25

Great to see you back Suki - the same to you my friend.

Ray

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suki spangles

Tue 2nd Jan 2018 15:47

Hi there Ray,

Wishing you a Happy New Year! Have a good one..

Suki

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raypool

Mon 1st Jan 2018 16:52

Thanks folks so much . This was haunting me initially because it was going to be about "question marks" and what they represented; which foxed me until I got a more solid image ie the coathangers. Hope that makes sense ?!

The old pulling up the door catches on british cars - even the AA used a plastic version ! I was happy with the first lines, but added an afterthought. Thanks David.

Thanks Kevin. I often bring inanimate things to life - just the kid in me.

Cheers Col. Always nice to get your max. attention - I know what you mean. I think the extra stanza opens it up for more depth - but it's a shame to take the liberty in a way.

Thank you Cynthia. Same as all above, as the point was worth making. Cleft stick time !

Happy New Year to youse all.

Ray xxx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 30th Dec 2017 12:30

I'm in queue here for pouring praise into your rising cup. I also salute that opening line, and agree that the four line first stanza could be totally enough. But I do admire the extension into another complete idea that invokes the reader's further imagination.

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Colin Hill

Sat 30th Dec 2017 09:13

If there was a yearly WoL award for opening lines then this would surely be a contender. The first stanza is superb and stands adequately on its own. I'm not sure the second is needed - maybe, maybe not. I can't decide. Either way, well done for working this one out. Cheers, Col.

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kJ Walker

Fri 29th Dec 2017 23:19

Hi Ray.
What an unusual subject. Really worked though. Got to agree with David, the opening line was a corker. I liked the way that you brought an inanimate object to life.

Cheers Kevin

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Wolfgar Miere

Fri 29th Dec 2017 22:38

"Coat hangers queue like question marks"

A great observational first line, the first stanza is excellent altogether. The second questioning verse leaves the reader pondering the multiple metaphors which the piece throws up.

I hate wire coat hangers, only good for criminal purposes to be honest. Any coat hanger without good shoulder moulds is a useless bit of kit.

David.

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