TWINKLE TWINKLE

me, me, look at me!

cries a cold lonely star,

my heat is wasted

my heart grows old

 

      we see you, we see you!

      cries the man behind glass

      we see you by an ancient light

      your curious tenure by day and by night

 

🌷 (3)

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Comments

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raypool

Thu 14th Dec 2017 22:41

Thanks Beno . I'm glad you felt for the form of this, as often I don't have a plan , but just tweak it into shape after. We can all dream can't we!

There is so much we can mull over in the heavens David, in physical presence and in more ethereal terms. I did try to express something unachievable and I know you got that. Often our thoughts collide and coincide.

Stu I like that comment a lot. It is good to admire the work of others striving for that perfect form. I try to be different, and I know you are.

Thanks Col and 220 for the likes.

Ray

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Dec 2017 15:32

oddly romantic and quirky. so a ray pool masterclass then

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 13th Dec 2017 11:46

Not a riddle by any means but somehow riddle like.

It is a misconception that the stars we can see are already dead, they would have to be far closer for us to see them after extinction.

I say that as the poem to me is like something reaching out from the past longing to be seen, remembered. A feeling that many of us reflect upon this time of year.

Twinkle twinkle ✨ indeed

David.

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Beno

Wed 13th Dec 2017 07:30

I feel all Christmassey now. That calls for a mince pie. Lol.
Noted the way the rhymes fall in this poem. It all sounds just right to me. Lovely.
Beno.

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