My Anxiety

The anxiety u see is nothing compared to what i feel
What u see is a cover carefully designed by my eyes to decieve!
Im not saying im always sad
Trying to drive everyone else mad
I am happy yes im well
But when the pretend fails im in a hell!
The leg, when starts shaking, is very hard to ignore,
And it makes me want to shut all the doors!
Sitting in a party full of people
I suddenly start feeling as useless as a lapel!
Faking laughters outside
Seeping nothingness inside!
But when the pain is too much to bear
Runs throughout my body; a chilled scare!
I rush towqrd the faucet to splash some water on my face
But to my surprise it becomes lava and burns my emotions to an erase!
I gasp and i wince
Feeling torture to my skin
But what u see is all fake
I am an ocean and u see a lake
I know ur trying because i can see that u care
Trying to find fear in the smile that i wear!
To make u sure, my smile gets widen
And u shake ur head, thinking ur judgement was mistaken!
The change in ur emotion makes my inner smile fade
I feel a little proud to see that u bought the game i played!
I am not complaining-no i am fine
But someday i would like someone
To come and ask me if im okay
Faking a smile, i would say 'yes' without a sway
But he would take me in his arms
And smile
Only to say
Its okay 
Not to be okay!!!

◄ Poor Little Rich Girl

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