‘If you make me Emperor,’ Hadrian declared,
‘I will build a wall in Britain,
from the west coast to the east,
to keep out those marauding Scots
who come to steal our sheep.’

The partisan crowd roared in approval,
but the left wing press were less enamoured
of this charismatic campaigner.
He came, he saw, he’s bonkers!
was the headline in the Mercury,
while the Herald ran with Emperor Mad-rian!

‘It’ll never work,’ the critics said,
‘and who is going to pay for it?’
Hadrian just smiled to himself.
He knew that Roman politics
seldom favoured the moderate candidate.

(From Joe's pamphlet, Killing the Piano, published by Half Moon Books. Originally published in the anthology The Bees Breakfast, published by Beautiful Dragons Collaborations.)