Falling Asleep on the Late Train
the lights move
yellow along
the curves
of your face
soft voices
wait
in the rising
fall of your chest
briefly our shoulders
touch
in sleep
your hand
flutters like
a dying bird
Comments
Really effective sense of movement and a tiny moment saying a lot . Makes poetic sense, a perfect ending suspended.
Ray
outstanding use of texture and colour. wonderful poetry
Love the fact you have conveyed so much with so few words. My favourite lines are the second verse.
Fab
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Tom
Tue 22nd Aug 2017 14:17
Really enjoyed this, efficient and effective! Thanks. ?