The darkness fills my heart

I can’t help but give in now, I don’t want to fight anymore

I have become numb to everything,

I simply can’t fake the person I am…this person I have become.

No one hears my screams…no one ever has.

To hear would mean to help…no one wants to help.

To sit and listen…just listen to me.

I feel so alone…

I feel so tired of these clouds

The rain has set above me and the storm never seems to go away.

I can’t even cry anymore…I have to force myself in order to feel something.

Anything…

The weight is over powering,

I am too weak to keep going…

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep…

My head races,

My heart hurts…broken.

I feel the cracks opening more and more everyday…

The sun hits my face and I can’t feel the warmth of the sun.

But I can feel the wind….its like sharp jagged knives.

Reminding me that I am still here.

I think of her and how this would affect her.

How…if I left forever…how would she deal?

Would I destroy her? More than she already is?

Selfish…yes, I know.

I am selfish….

These feeling…how could I?

But I have felt this way for years…

And I have stayed because of her.

It’s not enough anymore….

I sit here all alone.

Everyone has disappeared…

Because no one wants to hear the pain.

To actually look at me and see the pain in my eyes.

To see me drowning…

The water continues to overpower me,

I’m treading…

I just don’t want to fight anymore.

If I scream from the anxiety, will you hear me?

The weight just keeps pushing me down…deeper and deeper into the water.