Never?

 

I’ve never done a bungee jump,

Or sat between a bactrian’s humps.

I’ve never puffed on a hookah,

Or had a maximum at snooker.

I’ve never popped, or rolled a joint,

Or found a use for needlepoint.

I’ve never used a parachute,

Similarly a prostitute.

I’ve never walked a tightrope,

Or had a female try a sneaky grope.

I’ve never climbed the Eiffel Tower,

And never made love in the shower.

I’ve never liked paying income tax,

I’ve never had my privates waxed.

I’ve never watched The Simpsons,

And never ever learned my lessons.

I’ve never watched the sun rise at Uluru,

 

So here I pause – I’ve much to do