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ceremony

Chabako temae

 

You tear in to the house

A hurricane of malcontent

And of course I am in

Waiting for you

My little wooden box

A nuclear blast

The stench of him rolls behind you

Down the stairs

A bridal train

Wretched now, I come, I come

 

Hakobi Temae

 

Atoms are split as

Mitochondria dance as

They spit from the soup and

Epochs clatter as

You take the cups out and

I die four score and twenty as

The kettle clicks and

we begin the dissection

 

Obon Temae

 

It’s the way the steam

Puffs at your lenses

A morning on the moors

But hot

Somehow hot

And because of the mist

I do not see the tears until

They are beating at the bruises

On your cheeks – a rainy day

Spent sat in a car, racing the droplets

Down down down

Wind down the window

Hold up your fingers now

Catch the trees and the buildings and

Snap them in two

To somehow gain control

 

Ryurei

 

It tastes like peach

He says

But he is lying

◄ sick fire

char ►

Comments

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raypool

Tue 27th Jun 2017 21:18

What stands out for me Stu is how you have gone with poetry pick and shovel into a culture that is full of subtleties and mined out the goodness . Your explanation chimes with my understanding of Indian Raga rhythms with their delicate and exact structure.

Main man as ever.

Ray

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 27th Jun 2017 13:20

great choice - maybe keep the long one in reserve for another day...

and you had me searching out Ceremony by New Order on YouTube which I love and haven't heard for yonks.

I'm going to come back and read this again later when I have a quiet few minutes.

Col.

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Stu Buck

Tue 27th Jun 2017 12:21

thanks graham! i do like to baffle, although i always hope some of the meaning comes through

the headings refer to the various stages of a japanese tea ceremony, and the piece itself is the distillation of sitting down for a cuppa and just having a chat.

four score and twenty has no relevance other than it is a long time!

i was hoping to juxtapose the languid pace of the tea ceremony with the seemingly endless time it can take to speak the truth, get things off your chest.

i hope that helps a bit, and thanks for reading!

edit - having read your comment again i fear i may have over-explained myself. either way, i'm glad the poem stirred something, anything, within you.

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 27th Jun 2017 12:10

Having spent some time googling the headings I think I like Hakobi Temae the best. It seems to fit in with the gentleness of the etiquette suggested.

Four score and twenty?

I cannot detect the relevance of Ryurei

Christ I wish I knew what was going through your head when you wrote this. As shoes says, it sounds cool but who for?

Good work Stu.......I think! ?

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Stu Buck

Tue 27th Jun 2017 11:47

thanks guys.

you know colin, i genuinely couldnt think of a title for it so just wrote anything at the time, and i dislike it too. i think i will change it to 'ceremony' as that is at least relevant to the poem!

cheers for the interest, as ever.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 27th Jun 2017 08:07

I love the concept behind this Stu, very clever and well thought out - intelligent poetry without falling into the trap of being utterly soulless and boring.

I think the poem is excellent but I don't get the need for such a long title which seems only to mock the poem. I don't understand and suspect I'm missing something.

Col.

Edit: exploring the positive / negative or spacial / interval concept of 'Ma'?

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New Shoes

Tue 27th Jun 2017 06:45

that was awesome, I don't think I understood any of it but it was cool. It sounded like a cycle of evolution in many and mini ways

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