How can I say how I feel,
Describe words to you that you will understand,
If I myself don't understand...
There are days I just want to scream.
When all I crave is to be heard,
For someone to simply understand how I feel.
Someone who grabs my hand without needing to be asked,
Simply because I need to feel the support.
It is so easy for me to say everything's okay,
Everything is alright,
When it's truly not.
I am like a shield,
I do not let many pass to bear witness of my emotions.
I've tried so many times to allow people in...
It never fails when I see the knife.
Yet I never fully break...
I will not,
Allow someone to break me.
Life has always been intense for me.
I've had so many downs,
That I couldn't allow myself to see the positive.
Yet I've managed to stay strong for everyone around me,
Everyone but myself.
Black was the only color I felt soothed me.
A shield that only I knew of,
Words couldn't pass it,
Emotions never came near,
Music was the only flow...
Like air it came and went,
Passing through me with such ease,
Healing any wounds I covered.
How can I express my emotions to you,
To anyone, if I can barely let go.
All I ever wanted was someone to understand,
To have pure intentions,
So my shield can slowly fall...
Yet I'm too afraid to see the knife.
- Joanne German