smooth shanked in tumbling air
descending
we went on cycles
England's proud flank dogging our heels
Wales to the fore,
her blue and tidy pride
far outweighing our speed
and oxygen thumping chests,
tiny carriers of water and vests
packed tightly for spreading out
in the thin line of tomorrow's redoubt.
Ray, time spent reading the mighty Ted Hughes was not wasted methinks if it influenced this poem. Well-written and interesting piece for which, once again, aythangyow.
Paul
lovely stuff ray and leaves itself open to interpretation which i enjoy
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 2nd May 2017 07:53
Exodus.... movement cyclopeople.... Oh yeah! Sorry Ray, but when I see Exodus I can't help but go a little Bob Marley. For an Exodus your poem is almost too short and over in a flash of skin tight lycra which leaves me wanting more - words not lycra. All good stuff tho. Cheers, Col.
I was expecting red seas being parted but this seems like a soccer match...is it the Egyptians vs England? Lol...you really do paint a picture here.
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raypool
Wed 3rd May 2017 16:57
Thank you Juan - I actually conceived this from a cycle ride into Wales from England - a two mile descent -great experience. I take your point very much in the vein of an implied alternative! That's the thing with some poetry.
Col: Excellent comparison ! My chosen garb was more oldie traditional at the time -no advertising logos , no iguanas on bikes. Still, these days it is a peacock world.
Thanks for enjoying.
Stu, I get your point and I never even thought of alternatives at the time!
Ahh the great Ted Hughes - another level but it inspires me and lifts me up where I belong.
Thangyow playmate.