Second Hand Living
Four-wall safe-box secure.
Heart beating duldrum to duldrum.
The World - Beyond my door: Danger.
Other-folk. Living other-life.
Of glee. Fun. Friends. Sociality.
One screen. Glitch. One portal-opening reality twist.
Unchecked at the door.
Unpermission-beg desperation-need self-denialled.
To Closest. Furthest.
Bludged world. Purloined for emotional self-flagellation.
For clandestine review.
Peeping out. From sanctuary base.
Hopeless wretch. Approval-desire anxiety preventing participation.
Friendship-desperate vulnerability heart-grip swallowed.
To curl around. Suck.
Hold. As mine.
Proof that that's what I'm actually like.
It's just -
If only they could see me.
If only they knew.
If I could be liberated.
Meet that person.
Free my soul.
Find my world.