You’re Not Allowed

 

to cry,

in here,

this room, this bar,

a pint, on deck,

to fight or sulk,

or answer back;

to join the local snooker team,

to bare your legs

or armpit hair,

express yourself

or sleep around,

to shout or swear,

to wear short skirts,

to wear short hair,

 

grow it, tie it, perm it, dye it, never cut it short;

 

to be the boss,

come more than once,

to suit yourself,

to wank, to sweat,

to smell or fart,

to bleed,

release a stream of pee

outside of

chambered secrecy,

be clever, proud,

sarcastic, LOUD,

tell dirty jokes or pick your nose.

 

That’s not very ladylike!

 

To flirt, to age,

to speak your mind,

to even show your knicker line;

bring up a child

all on your own,

expose your breasts,

express your milk

so publicly,

to smoke, get drunk,

get up the duff

without a band of gold.

 

Single mothers are to blame for all the world’s depravity.

 

UNSOLICITED!