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Dawn

entry picture

The sunlight strays through soaring trees,

And birds call out their lonely pleas

That echo strangely in the dawn,

Now that the gloom of night has gone,

And leaves are stirred by morning breeze.

 

The silent watcher stands and sees

Their careful flights, in twos and threes,

From branch to branch their path is drawn

Through soaring trees.

 

Another day’s uncertainties,

Avoiding all their enemies,

To seek the bugs they prey upon,

And safely feed their young thereon;

Back to the nest and families

Through soaring trees.

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Comments

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Trevor Alexander

Wed 1st Mar 2017 18:58

Thank you. I actually do like rondeau, along with villanelle, it's one of my favourite rhyming forms. But you're right, they can seem forced if not done well. When I originally wrote this a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't sure about it. But re-reading it today I kinda liked it, so decided to put it up here.

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John Coopey

Wed 1st Mar 2017 17:34

I'm not normally a fan of 2-rhyme poems (although I've done a fair share myself). They can come across as exercises. This one I do like, Trevor. It's sense and ambience keep the feel of "exercise" well at bay and perfectly resonate with the picture. Good stuff.

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