Now he was stuck with the body
in control of it but not of himself.
He spooned an eye from its socket
angry after the kill, his purpose spent
the climax had been in the planning
subtle persuasions of trust, manipulation
and now here on the plateau
it always felt this way
and he needed a memento.
I would like to read about his other killings. It would be a lovely opening to a novel. Maybe he hides the body under my 'Magic Carpet'.
Louise
Ray, so superbly dark and sinister, I've been on the blower to Inspector Wexford.....Eyethankgyou! Paul
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 25th Jan 2017 08:15
I think elP and Jeff have both made very valid points - I wonder what your inspiration was or maybe I shouldn't ask? Hope it's not a snippet from your forthcoming autobiography?
'plateau' is an excellent choice of word - flat like his post kill drain of adrenaline - or a plateauing out into a calmer state. It is also a bloody good rhyme with 'momento'.
good stuff Ray.
You could carry this on as a sort of mini series snapshots?.....Jeff
elPintor
Tue 24th Jan 2017 22:49
The way you put it, its seems like something anyone should contemplate..I mean, how to handle the anti-climax. Maybe someone whose purpose is so driven by the lead-up to the act could gain as much or more satisfaction through some other "comparable" endeavor. He/she must feel so wasted.
Aberrant, yet not entirely foreign, to surmise.
elP
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raypool
Thu 26th Jan 2017 19:56
Thanks for your consideration elP. The sad truth seems to be that in the minds of such perpetrators there may be normal thought processes going on . The accounts given are quite often matter of fact in the telling; I wanted to emulate that. The typical type does not really stand out in a crowd.
Thanks Jeff - you may be right there!
Cheers Col . Sorry mate, my mind can play tricks - I simply thought of an eye and a spoon, then fleshed it out!
Often the writing itself is my inspiration.
Paul, don't even think about it! I'm glad you sampled this thanks. aythangyow playmate.
Blimey Louise, perhaps you could fund me - no problem.thanks.