I quote an example of father and son

caught short on pavement patrol,

in a sort of urinary pact

with me knee high to a railing or two

descended by steps past sanitary tiles

to an urban subterranean loo.


Light flooded in

pee flooding out

a place of muted shared relief

a haven of water relieved of a spout.


Nothing was said as we stood at the troughs

an initiation by imitation

just the sounds of farts and coughs

and copious flushing

the hissing of fags

cast down the channel

the measured fastening of ponderous flies.


The master at arms

rising just at my side

adding to the yellow tide.


Then a surge of fresh air

as we rose to the street

with mother as background

not involved,

in a urinary sense

left out in the cold.





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Tue 17th Jan 2017 17:06

Thanks Gideon - nice to get a "flood" of comments . I read this live last night and pleased to say it found the spot !


Gideon Puccio

Tue 17th Jan 2017 09:17

I thought at first I misread the title.. then I read your poem.. I almost peed myself.. Thank you for the chuckle! :)

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 14th Jan 2017 22:44

The innocent and the incontinent perhaps. These well-crafted lines conjured up half-forgotten memories
of those old subterranean gents' lavatories, with their cavernous gleaming tiled dimensions and the impressive
brown timbered rows of cubicles opposite the shiny
sinks and mirrors and the automated flushing of the ever busy urinals.
WM's remark about "cottagers" brings back a midnight
memory of seeking relief from my car while waiting on a
witness under protection to return from a tryst with his
lady love. I descended a winding set of stairs to a
gents' toilet nearby only to find its poorly lit interior as packed as a central London station foyer at rush hour!
A News of the World reporter would have been slower
to make his excuses and leave than I was to empty my
bladder that time, with the possible headlines bouncing
around in my brain as I ascended rapidly with another even greater sort of relief to road level again.

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Sat 14th Jan 2017 22:29

THanks folks for all your comments.

elP: I liked your story, a clincher !

Emer: Glad you saw the funny side ....

Suki: likewise, thanks.

Paul: Some plaudits there! I just improvise often with what comes in my head from past experience. Glad it appealed.

Jeff: Cheers, glad you like it.

David: A health warning, very wise. So many closed for that very reason. Couldn't beat them for atmosphere.

Colin: Flattery will get you everywhere . This one was down to earth alright even below that!

Thanks again all. Ray

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 14th Jan 2017 17:23

superb Ray. I've been catching snatches of comments throughout the day but saved reading the poem until such a time as I had, well, some time. I'm glad I did as this is a real gem and Paul has summed up your writing perfectly by saying you have a 'unique gift of depicting British life warts-and-all'. I hope you never run out of subject matter - I'm sure you won't.

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Sat 14th Jan 2017 09:40

Hahahahah......brilliant! Jeff

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Paul Waring

Sat 14th Jan 2017 08:43

Ray, what imagination you have, conjuring up gems like this, so funny, so descriptive (the only thing you didn't capture was the whiff!). What I, and I'm sure lots of other on here enjoy so much is your unique gift of depicting British life warts-and-all. Cleverly crafted from the title to the last line. Thanks for this. I'm still chuckling inside...?

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suki spangles

Sat 14th Jan 2017 01:04

Funny stuff, with great lines. Cheers for the laugh, Ray!

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Emer Ni Chorra

Fri 13th Jan 2017 23:28

This one gave me a giggle?


Fri 13th Jan 2017 22:44

Hey, Ray..I laughed and winced at once at the last verse..the whole thing retains its comedy, even to an outsider like me.

Just an aside...I never pushed potty training on my son. I just figured that when he was ready, he would let me know. Well, while out of doors with my sweet darling toddler, he walks up to me, looks up and asks with such beautiful sincerity, "Can I pee off the porch?" Of course, I told him to go for it. And, that was the end of diapers...


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